Showing posts with label #Daddy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #Daddy. Show all posts

Monday, December 18, 2017

Obedience To One’s Deceased Parents

Obedience To One’s Deceased Parents

Sayyiduna Abu Usaid Malik bin Rabi'ah As-Sa'idi Radhiyallahu Anhu reports: We were sitting with Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam when a man of Banu Salamah came to him and asked, "O Messenger of Allah! Does there remain any form of obedience which I may show to my parents after their death?" He Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam replied, "Yes, to pray for them, to supplicate for their forgiveness, to fulfill their promises after their death, to maintain the ties of kinship which cannot be maintained except through them, and honour their friends." [Abu Dawud]
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 When a parent passes away remember that you have begun a new phase of birr (dutifulness) to that parent. 

Birr after death is the truest and most sincere forms of birr because birr during their lifetime could be tainted with doing for show, or being polite (as opposed to sincere) and expecting praise from the parents or others. As for after their death, then only Allah hears and sees you. 

A deceased parent is in greater need of his/her children - even more than when the parent was alive. What children do for the parents during the parent's lifetime is for the worldly needs. 

But after death only Allah knows what good and bad is in store for the deceased in the grave.

Dua'a for rahmah (mercy) and asking Allah to shower the deceased with His mercy is invaluable for the deceased.

Through the child's Dua,  Allah - through His grace and mercy - enlightens the grave removing the darkness and expands  the grave thus removing the suffering. And Allah makes the grave a garden from the gardens of Paradise.

Therefore, always remember your deceased parent/s, and always ask Allah to shower them with His mercy, enlighten their grave and expand it.

For example as you are about have a meal, think about the many wonderful meals your mother had prepared for you and how she took care of you all your life. Your heart will surely soften and at that point, let it drive you to offer a similar meal to an orphan, widow, divorced or needy person on behalf of your deceased parent/s and asking of Allah to reward them for it. Give charity on their behalf, recalling the many favours they did for you.

Never forget parents. Irrespective of how harsh they may have been with you, only Allah knows the love they had in their hearts for you. 

Give charity on their behalf privately, wipe away the tears of orphans, widows and divorced (through charity) on behalf of your parents, quench the thirst of the thirsty on their behalf. (for example by having a well dug.) 

Go out of your way to be the best child to your parents for they have sacrificed much to raise you.

This is the Dua'a mentioned in the Quran for one’s parents:

رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

Rabb-ir-ham-huma kama rabbayaani sagheera


Translation: 

My Lord, Bestow thy mercy on my parent/s as they cherished and raised me in my childhood.


Lastly, let us teach our children this Dua'a for one day we all shall also need it.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Cling to the feet of your mother, for Paradise lies there....

Cling to the feet of your mother, for Paradise lies there

Haqqseeker

Let us for a while turn the clock backwards to a point some 25 years back. 

Time: 2.15 am

On an unpleasantly cold, mystifying night the moon is sheltered by the murky looming clouds.  The night’s eerie silence is punctuated only by an occasional bark of a dog or by a cacophony caused by two cats fighting. 

Suddenly the oppressive regime of the night is sharply interrupted by a very shrill scream…

And what happens next?

A woman suddenly gets up from her deep slumber and throws her blanket aside…

Please do not take this to be the beginning of a horror story or a thriller. This is the narration of a scene of reality that you would witness in every home where there are babies. The scream in this particular story is that of a baby boy and the woman who gets up instantly on hearing this scream is none other than his mother. Like all other infants this boy too has absolutely no sense of timing and neither is he bothered about the fact that his mother badly needs a good night’s sleep after a hard day’s work. The most amazing thing, however, is that the mother wakes up from her sleep at such an odd hour, nurses her baby and attends to all his needs, including changing his nappy, with all her heart and without even a sign of irritation.
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And now, twenty five years later, let us witness what transpires between the same boy and his mother.

Time: 10 pm

It is a very pleasant cloudless night with the full moon radiating a soothing glow of light.

The young man and his wife are in their bedroom. Both are engrossed in their Smartphones. Suddenly they hear the gentle voice of the husband’s mother. She is calling her son from her bedroom and her voice is reflecting pain. The man asks his wife to go and see why she is calling. The wife refuses to go. She says she is busy chatting with her friend in WhatsApp.

The man stands up and proceeds towards his mother’s bedroom. Standing on the doorway, he says in an irritated voice, “Mom, what is wrong? Why are you calling me?  You know that after a hard day’s work, this is the only time we get to relax.”
“I am sorry I could not help calling you. I have an unbearable pain in my head and since your father is away, I was wondering if you or your wife could massage my head.”

“But Mom, why don’t you take some painkillers?” says the man.  

“It’s okay, my love, don’t worry. Go back to your room. I will manage somehow,” says the mother.

Narrated above is one of the scenes taking place in many homes, with slight variations here and there. It is a pity that the man in the above narration forgets that it is the same woman who, with the grace of Allah, has brought him to this world after suffering all kinds of pains and discomforts for more than nine long months; it is the same woman who used to wake up at odd hours just to attend to his needs and to see that he remained at ease, it is the same woman who fed him with her milk; it is the same woman for whom he meant the entire world so much so that she was prepared to suffer any kind of hardship just to see that her ‘bundle of joy’ was happy and comfortable.

Allah, the most glorified, the most high, has placed a unique and a very strong magnetic bond between the mother and her baby. This is the relationship that, when felt to its deepest degree, causes the mother to feel that the baby is a part of her. This feeling is so strong that the mother feels complete when she is with her baby and incomplete when they are apart.

The meaning of being a mother is virtually endless. A mother is a protector, a guide and very close friend for her child. A mother is a selfless, loving human who is ready to sacrifice many of their wants and needs for the wants and needs of their children. A mother works hard to make sure her child is equipped with the knowledge, skills and abilities to make it as a competent human being. Being a mother is perhaps the hardest, most rewarding job a woman will ever experience.
In Islam motherhood has been given a very high status. Allah, the Most High, says in Noble Qur’an:

“We enjoined man to treat his parents kindly. His mother bore him with hardship and delivered him with hardship and his bearing and weaning are in thirty months…” (Qur’an 46:15)

The emphasis on obedience and kindness to parents is of such a high and prior degree that the Qur’an couples the sin of disobedience to parents to disobedience to Allah the Most High. It is, in fact, likened to shirk (associating partners with Allah), hence the Qur’an Majeed says in a number of places:

“Do not commit shirk with Allah and be kind to parents…”

After prohibiting shirk, the Qur’an prohibits disobedience to parents. A disobedient child lives under Divine curse.

Between our two parents, our mother has obviously been accorded a much higher status as we can see in the following hadeeth:

Abu Huraira reported: A man asked the Messenger of Allah, Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, “Who is most deserving of my good company?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said “Your mother.” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your father.” (Bukhārī, Muslim)

The golden pages of Islamic history has a very inspiring example of a man called Owais Qarni who secured a very high position after serving his mother. 

‘Usair Ibn ‘Amr relates that Umar Ibn Al-Khatab, Allah be pleased with him, whenever reinforcement came from Yemen, would ask them whether ‘Uwais Ibn Amer was among them.

This continued until he met ‘Uwais Ibn Amer, Allah be pleased with him. He asked him are you ‘Uwais Ibn Amer?” When he answered “Yes,” Umar asked him, “Are you from the tribe of Murad from the clan of Qaran?” He answered “Yes.” Then he asked him, “Did you suffer from leprosy and you were cured of it except for the spot as large as a dirham (coin)?” He answered in the affirmative. Then he asked him “Do you have a mother (who is still living)?” He also answered in the affirmative. Then Umar said he had heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, saying, “A man called ‘Uwais Ibn Amer will come to you with reinforcements coming from Yemem. He is from Murad then from Qaran; he used to suffer from leprosy but he was cured of it except for a spot as large as a dirham; he is benevolent with his mother; [he is so close to Allah that] if he swears, Allah will fulfil his oath. If you can ask him to supplicate to Allah to forgive you, do.” Umar asked him to supplicate to Allah to forgive him, and ‘Uwais Ibn Amer did. (Gardens of the Virtuous complied by Al-Imam Al-Nawawi)

As long as your mother is around, love her and serve her as much as you can. A time will come when your mother will have gone very far from you and you will never be able see her even for a moment.

In conclusion here is a hadeeth that very appropriately illustrates the rightful status of a mother:

Mu’awiyah ibn Jahima reported: Jahima came to the Prophet, Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, I intend to join the expedition and I seek your advice.” The Prophet said, “Do you have a mother?” He said yes. The Prophet said, “Stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.” (Sunan al-Nasā’ī 3104)


So revere your mother and cling to her feet, for Jannah lies there!

May Allah grant my mum and all mums ease and ultimately Jannat-ul-Firdowse, Aameen!

Monday, February 13, 2017

Every Mum should read this!


Mummy’s boy, you are now a man.

Tomorrow you will have a new mother, a new cook and a new person to share all your secrets with. It will no longer be me but her. 

Love your new mum even more than you love me. Before you walk into her arms forever, let me give you some words to guide you.

There was a day I was arguing with your father. We were screaming, Tempers were high. I was angry and He was angry. Then I called him an idiot! He was shocked. He looked at me asking how dare I call him that, immediately started calling him idiot, fool, stupid, crazy, I called him all sort of name.

Guess what he did? He didn’t raise his hands to hit me. He just walked away, banging the door as he went out.

My Son, If your father had hit me and destroyed my eyes, how will you feel sitting here with me today? How will you regard him as your father?

Would you have been proud of him or would you be blaming me for calling him names?
*Never hit your wife! No matter the provocation just walk away and things will be normal.

Whenever she offends you, think of this story I just told you, it could have been your mum!*
After he left, I was filled with guilt. We slept on same bed that night and I went to him the next day. 

I pleaded with him, I did all I could to show am sorry and he forgave me. That day I cooked his favourite food. After that day, I never called him names, my respect for him was ten times stronger.

There is something very important you must always do, my son listen very carefully, defend your wife. When she is under pressure, stand by her. If your friends hates her, it is your duty to make them see her as a Queen. Your Uncle, I mean Uncle Yusuf, never liked me. But your father was always supportive until his perception changed.

There was a day your Father was going to host the owner of his company and friends. They were three of them. That day I was in the kitchen cooking for them and your father went to buy drinks.
When the table was set and food was served. Everyone started eating. Then Iremembered I did not add salt in the food. I was embarrassed. 

Your father tasted the food and looked at me. He immediately turned to the guests. He told them that he instructed his wife last month not to add salt whenever she is cooking because of some problem with his body.

He said it in a funny way and everyone laughed! The guests understood and he asked me to bring salt and everyone added according to their taste. He managed to eat the food without salt.
After the guest left, he went on his knees and asked God to forgive him for lying.

Your wife is like a baby, sometimes she don’t know what to say or do. Stand up and speak for her! Sometimes, read your wife and understand her. Make it a habit to go anywhere with your wife. Beside your job, move around with her. If anyone invite you to his house and told you not to come with your wife then be very careful.

Use wisdom…I know you love mummy… I know you will tell me all your problems. But now things will be different. Let your wife be the first to know before me. Let her be the first to see before me. When you have problems with her don’t run to me immediately.  Wait for a day to pass and then talk to her about it. Pray about it.

Report her to nobody but talk issues out within yourself. Finally, don’t forget to come and visit me with your wife every month! I know you will have a happy home. 

You will always be mummy’s boy. 
Love Mummy
PS I did not write this, if any one knows who did please let me know so I can credit the author appropriately, plagiarism is an offense to any writer and I wish to give due where it is needed

 

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

A Daughter's Dua'a


A Daughter's Dua'a

My mother nurtured me to be strong and beautiful inside out, just like the roots of a flower, when I sway help me to stand firm again.

My father disciplined me to be a principled valued member of society. When I feel like my integrity is being questioned or trampled upon, help me to rise again and stand tall.

My mother taught me the art of sharing and the etiquette of caring, when I feel cold in my heart, help me to share and care again let warmth radiate through.

My father placed his protective hand over my head when fear gripped me and gave me courage to face those fears. When I feel scared to stand up for justice strengthen the impediment in my speech and clear the thick cloud of doubt that may surround me.

My mother thought me to love with each beat of my heart; she loved me unconditionally even when I acted like a little monster. When I attempt to instill goodness and love in children, help me to show them the right way.

My mother, my father - Unqualified teachers,
Who taught me the value of life...

Shukran to Allah (swt) for blessing me with you both...For the ocean of knowledge you have shaed with me is invaluable - I am proud to be your student!

Monday, January 27, 2014

A Daughter's Prayer


A Daughter's Prayer

My mother nurtured me to be strong and beautiful inside out, just like the roots of a flower, when I sway help me to stand firm again.

My father disciplined me to be a principled valued member of society. When I feel like my integrity is being questioned or trampled upon, help me to rise again and stand tall.

My mother taught me the art of sharing and the etiquette of caring, when I feel cold in my heart, help me to share and care again let warmth radiate through.

My father placed his protective hand over my head when fear gripped me and gave me courage to face those fears. When I feel scared to stand up for justice strengthen the impediment in my speech and clear the thick cloud of doubt that may surround me.

My mother thought me to love with each beat of my heart; she loved me unconditionally even when I acted like a little monster. When I attempt to instill goodness and love in children, help me to show them the right way.

My mother, my father - Unqualified teachers, Who taught me the value of life...

Jazakallah for the ocean of knowledge I am proud to have been your student!!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

««««««« Why Don’t You Have A Boyfriend ?»»»»»»»

««««««« Why Don’t You Have A Boyfriend ?»»»»»»»


She replied with confidence : you tell me : why would I have a bf ?!
I guess you have no answer for my question, but I have answers for yours :
First, I am a believer, I can’t do what displease my Creator, HE ordered me not to to take a bf so I should obey HIM.

Allah says in Qur’an: “nor those who take [secret] lovers. “(surat Al-Nisa-25)
Second, I am a daughter of a man who raised me to be a chaste woman, I am a sister of a man who is proud of my purity, so I don’t want to disappoint them, and most of all I don’t want to disappoint a third man who is my future husband and the father of my children in shaa Allah, because I am preserving myself to him only
My mom raised me to be a righteous woman so that I deserve a righteous man she never raised me to be a toy in any boy’s hand, but she raised me to complete the Deen of a pious man.
Also, I am not an easy girl who would be impressed with sweet love words, but I am a proud Muslimah who is just like a pearl in its shell no one can touch it but a brave man who would value it and cherish its beauty…

Dear Muslimahs…Know your worth! and Be that One In Million who love to have the love of Their Lord than the love of a boyfriend!!!
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