GPS Programming

GPS Programming From Garmin to TomTom and every GPS app besides – the choices are endless when it comes to finding a solution to safe navigation and guidance to the destination. With a GPS in hand, a person feels at home on even foreign roads, casually driving about and comfortably commuting from one point to the next. However, imagine for a moment that a person is all alone and driving through the wilderness at night. Suddenly, he enters an area that is ill-reputed to be fraught with hijackers and robbers. As he enters this area, his GPS system goes absolutely haywire. The system ‘speaks’ and tells him to turn left, but when he glances at the screen, it clearly shows that he should proceed straight ahead without taking any turns. It is not farfetched to believe that this person would break out into a sweat and panic, as he would not know which direction to take in this most dangerous of places. In exactly the same manner, every individual has to traverse his own path of life. In this path, he will face numerous threats and areas of intense darkness. If he safely navigates past all the roadblocks of Shaitaan, potholes of sin and oil-patches of the nafs (carnal desires), he will arrive safe and sound at his destination of Jannah. When a child is born, he carries within him a blank ‘GPS’ system which will guide him throughout his life. As he grows up, it is the input of those around him – primarily his parents – that ‘program’ his GPS. However, when conflicting commands are entered into the GPS system, it causes the entire system to go haywire and crash, leaving the traveler stranded on the roadside or even worse – involved in an accident. As parents, we should all introspect and ask ourselves, “What is the state of my child’s GPS?” Unfortunately, many of us may be guilty of either directly or indirectly saying to our children, “DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO.” As absurd as this may sound, it’s actually way more common than we imagine. How many children are taught that the five daily salaah are compulsory, yet live in a home where salaah is taken casually? How many fathers prevent their children from smoking, yet regularly ask them to empty the ashtray? How many parents teach their children that lying is evil and haraam, yet lie to the teachers of the child when asked to explain why the child was absent? These are just a few examples, and if we seriously ponder, we will be able to find many more. The point is that many of us are causing our children’s’ GPS systems to go haywire and malfunction as we input contradictory commands. The children are told to behave in a certain way, but witness the behaviour and values in their very own homes to be the exact opposite. These ‘double-instructions’ result in the child having ‘double-standards’. For instance, he will reach the conclusion that he should never ever lie – unless he is absolutely certain that he can get away with it. When traversing the dark sections of the path – the sections that are filled with fitnah and in which evil invites from every corner – how will my child’s GPS perform? Will it guide him to safety, or will it plunge him into the pits of ruin and destruction? To a great extent, the choice is ours. Before it’s too late, update the GPS system by doing a daily download of ta’leem in the home and erasing all viruses and malware threats (sins and evils) from our own lives.

Needs VS. Wants

Needs VS. Wants

When we moved to our first house in Bloomington, a few years back, one of our neighbours, a very nice young couple who had a 9/10 year old daughter, knocked our door a week or so after we moved in, holding a home-made cake.

They came to pay us a visit, to say welcome to the neighbourhood.

That was the nicest gesture that made our first experience in an almost all-white American neighbourhood, with its first Muslim family, very pleasant. I do not know if they knew it then, but it is such a refreshing feeling to have people walk up to you with an open-mind and say welcome, we would like to get to know you and who knows, we might become good friends…

Another reason why we thought this family was special was their daughter Kate. She was an only child. One of the nicest, most-caring, intelligent, confident, talented, well-mannered young people I have seen in a long time. Her mother and I used to get together time to time for tea. I was caring for an infant, and juggling motherhood, and she was a talented breastfeeding consultant with a big heart. I remember asking her, as I do unceasingly with parents whose kids strike my attention as being exceptional, what they did that worked so well! I was hungry for any advice, especially from a mother whose parenting skills was proven to have worked so well.

She shared an important parenting tip, which I found genious (though it might seem common-sense once you hear it, most parents never come up with it on their own): teach her the distinction between needs and wants.

We must and will meet all her needs, to the best of our abilities.

But we do not have to and will not fulfill all her wants.

So when she asks for something, a new toy or a candy, we ask her: do you need this or do you just want this? Teach her this is a want as opposed to a need. Then, depending on your family rules on toys/how much candy and when…etc. you can either get that or not.

When she asks for things that she actually needs, say she is thirsty and she asks for a bottle of water in the supermarket, or she does not have slippers for the summer, you point out that she needs these and you are meeting her needs. Of course, we should not do this as if sticking to her eyes, see how good parents we are, we are doing all this for you… That’s not the right attitude or even the reality of the matter. We are only teaching her the difference between needs and wants, AND that she has parents who will try their best to meet her needs, hence she can feel secure, loved, and taken-care-of.

Why do this? What is the point of differentiating between needs vs. wants?

Well, first of all, in today’s world, children AND adults are conditioned (by society, media, marketing techniques…) that they NEED that toy, they simply NEED that larger, more efficient food processor…etc. This is an economy that is driven by consumerism. They more we consume, the richer some guys get. The more we have to work (hence less time for family) to earn money, so we can buy more things.

Ironically, the more we work and become workaholics who spend 5/6 out of 7 days at work, deceiving ourself that we are working for our kids’ benefit (to give them better things, to pay for private school…), the less time we spend with our kids. The less time and energy we have for our family. Ultimately, we have more, and we are less happy. Nothing satisfies us. The more we acquire the more disappointed we are that it does not make us happier.

Kids who have everything, can never be satisfied with anything. Hence, they start notching it up more and more. The latest playstation did not work; let’s try a new mustang daddy. Oops, that is not enough either. How about these recreational drugs. I hear they make you really happy! How about risky relationships…. and the climb up continues until the final steep fall…

The only way to break the cycle is to put a halt to this cycle of consumerism (work-to buy-work more-to buy more…and so on). We really really do NOT need all this stuff.

We want to be happy. We need to be happy.

But ‘things’ are not going to make us happy.

When we build up their expectations for a new toy, we teach them ‘things’ make us happy, that’s what they should look forward to: If you behave well, I will buy you a lollipop or a new doll. Wait for your birthday and I will get you a big, new firetruck…

Instead, we can build their expectations for experiences: We are going to make a special camping trip for your birthday! If you finish your meal, I will teach you how to climb a tree! If you complete your homework, we will go out for a bike race! You can have a play-date with your friend Aisha, if you clean up your room…etc.

We can teach our kids the distinction between needs vs. wants only if we adhere to this life-view! If we buy whatever our whim desires, whenever it desires, then we have no shot at instilling these values in our children (nor should we be hypocritical and try). When we buy a new shirt because we truly need it, we must convey this to our kid, frame our purpose in needs vs. wants paradigm.

When we are at a store and she is interested in something, we pick it up and she plays with it while we are in there, and puts it back as we leave. This is working almost without any fuss because we have been doing this since she was a baby. Thank God that in the US, no one says anything when your kid plays with a toy in the store (elsewhere this would be inconceivable). Plus I know it for sure that if we were to purchase that toy, her fancy will fade away at most in two days. And we will left with more clutter in our home.

We constantly select toys that she is either too old for or she is bored with and she gives them as gifts to other kids or donates them. This way there is room for new things that she might need.

I love the motto of SIMPLICITY. A simple life – few chores to do, leaves so much time to do the great things that are important like spending quality time with family. A simple life – few things to buy, leaves so much room for a peaceful mind and serenity.

Source: thelittlemuslims.com

A Must Read

A MUST READ FOR HUSBANDS, FOR MOTHER IN LAWS AND MOTHERS WITH SONS WHO ARE YET TO MARRY Insha'Allah

On Raising Sons

 

Today I witnessed the breaking down of a family. We emptied out the entire contents of her bedroom which she shared with her "beloved" husband and her little child's room too. We cleared it, from toothbrush holders to art features, from a toddler bed right down to an extendable television cable. The couples bedroom and the child's bedroom were stripped bare, almost as if they had never lived there. We piled in all their belongings into 3 cars and took this once blushing bride and her child back to the home she left in the highest of hopes- her mothers. This time, there was no wedding ribbon to beautify a car or a family excited and happy to see her off. This time, it was cars filled to the brink, with a now divorced mother with child.

It was a sad and depressing realisation that today, a family has been shattered to pieces. A mother left to raise her child and for what? Because of a poorly brought up son.

A son, who didn't give his wife the love, respect, fidelity and trust she deserved. Why blame the parents and more specifically the mother, you may ask? It's simple really; because mothers fail to bring up their sons the way they would want their very own daughters husbands to be. This is an undeniable truth for many upon many households. The focus is on raising sons; sons that will better themselves for the mothers and fathers, sons that will go on to achieve great academic success, so that they can have a better life than their parents and also in the hope that their income will help them out one day. Then there is the focus on raising them to be great Muslims, in the hope one day they will be able to benefit from their good deeds too. Sons that do right and good by their family and friends, because well, that's what good men do. It always goes back to what the mother thinks is best for her and her son.

Do these mothers really and truly stop for a second, at some point in raising these sons, to think what impact they will go on to have on someone else's child's life? Do they ever stop to think that simultaneously, out there somewhere, there is a mother hard at work, raising a daughter who will one day become his wife? Do they ever really take a step back, take a deep breath and think "I got to do this for the love of the other mother out there", there's someone out there who will one day give her daughter to my son. I got to help make my son the best he can be, the greatest he can be, so that he can go on to help be part of a team that will make this woman the greatest she can be? I need to teach my son about team work, about unconditional love beyond just the love you feel for your blood relatives. I got to make sure my son understands that if his woman isn't happy, the chances are somewhere along the line, his children will suffer. Those children being my grandchildren! I need to make him realise that there is a world beyond just this little family as they know it, that there is a little girl out there who is treasured, loved and adored who will one day be the pinnacle of his family, just like I am the pinnacle of his family today.

Do these mothers of sons truly love their future grandchildren as they whole heartedly claim they will? Do they truly cherish the day they will welcome them into their bosoms with the warmest of embraces? I wonder if they do for If they did, they would work hard to ensure that their sons knew everything that was expected of them as a husband. This starts from a young age and not placing all hopes and expectations on someone else's delicate daughter.

Why do you wish and hope for the best for your daughters, whilst sitting back and not working on the sons who will take someone else's daughters as their wife? While we see mothers beaming from ear to ear when her very own daughter is happy, do you ever stop to wonder if your sons mother In law has the pleasure of experiencing such contentment? If you have a happy daughter in a happy home, credit and kudos to the mother out there who did her job. "It's not always the parents fault" they'll cry, but oh it is! It is, when in this asian-centric, culturally led community, the focus is ensuring you have daughter In laws who meet your expectations and daughters who go on to do your proud in their new families. Where was the tiresome effort on their part, for raising worthy sons of those daughter In laws you so desperately want? Where are the qualities in your son that make him worthy of a great wife?

By nature, women are strong, resilient and are fighters. They will keep feelings locked inside them to protect others from the real raw state of their broken hearts and emotions. They are built to carry on living, despite knock backs and backstabs and the pressures of raising a family. They are built to last! But stop right there, oh mother of that young innocent son your currently sat with at the dining table with, running through his home work with him. Don't you dare take someone else's daughter and their natures for granted and assume that so long as "my son has a good wife" that everything will be just fine. For there comes a time, that sometimes soldiers fall and they just can't continue anymore. Their hearts just cant handle the pain or the torment of a miserable marriage. They can't handle their children seeing their mother in this state. Like a mother has a sixth sense about their child, a child too also knows when their mother is hurting and suffering. They just can't verbalise it but they know and they understand. Women cant keep up the charade in front of the world forever. Even if the cracks are visible, they'll keep going for as long as they can physically, emotionally and mentally bear but remember, polyfiller eventually runs out too. Their hearts simply don't go on, even if they are beating. Nothing is forever.

 

What is forever is the thousands of days and hundreds of months you put in to raising a decent son. The lasting affects of this will be seen in generations to come. You won't be around to see it, but rest assured while you are dealing with your Maker, there is a whole new generation you left behind that is thriving. It is thriving because of the tiresome effort on your part to ensure you've raised a brilliant boy who in turn, will be aware of his responsibilities and role as a husband and father, who then has a happy wife and finally, beautifully content children. And the cycle continues.

That's not to say women are not the cause of marital strife and don't accelerate in the fast lane to divorce, for sure there are many out there. But I'm not concerned with the "many" but I sure am concerned for those who try and try and try to hold their broken pieces together for as long as they physically can.

So while you are sat there, beaming with pride because your son got excellent marks in his recent report or has just landed a job with a reputable company, just remember, there is another mother out there too. A mother who is working her fingers to the bone, raising a daughter for your son. Do not be the cause of another mothers pain because you were too busy ensuring your sons success in everything else but the treatment of his wife. So what, your son goes to Islamic school and appears outwardly pious? Do not rely on religion and your sons interest and devotion to his religion to do the job for you. Religion only takes you so far in knowing your role and responsibility as a human being, husband and father, the real work starts behind those closed doors.

There's another woman out there. She's up all night nursing her baby girl. She's breaking her back all day to make sure her baby sees the next. Don't be part of the reason for her heartbreak 30 years down the line when she sees her daughter come home, broken.

Here's to the mothers who have raised the best sons to make the best partners and fathers. You might say there's more to life than this, but really, there isn't.

Ummi

Take two minutes out of your time...

Imagine your mum was on the silver bed that they wash dead bodies upon... You make wudhu upon her and then start to wash her hair, you run your hand through her greyed hair, you remember the times she would ask you if she looked nice in what she was wearing, you remember how sweet she was and how beautiful she was in her youth, you realise this will be the last time you touch your mother in this dunya, you lift her left side over and it strikes you that she can no longer wash her own self although she was the one who used to wash you, you pour the water over her body and start to remember the times she used to wash you and clothe you and feed you and stay up at night by your side worried about you, a young girl/boy or grown man/grown woman she treated you the same, her beloved daughter/son who she would give up her world for, you take a look at her face and wish she would smile at you one last time, you realise the small things you took for granted, you remember the jokes that you used to use to make her laugh and the things that you said to please her...

You begin to shroud her body and its time to cover her face.....

You ask for one last chance to look at her beauty and kiss her upon her forehead, you shroud her and will never see her again in this life...

Upon your shoulder she is carried just as upon hers she used to carry you, no more playing, laughing, giggling, joking.. pain and crying as you carry the most important woman in your life out of your life...

You bury her and as you walk away you begin to remember the things you did that hurt her, Those words you said that she would overlook but you know bought her pain, you think about the times you chose your friends over her, your wife over her, a program you preferred to watch over her, you begin to realise you were a daughter/son that she deserved more from, you wish for one moment to hug her and tell her how sorry you are and tell her how much you appreciate her...

It's too late...

Her bed is the dust and her questioning will begin... If only you made use of your time with her before her time came to an end....

That day is coming soon ya ikhwa wa akhawat (O bros and sisters)

don't let it be a time of regret and remorse...A MOTHER IS SPECIAL
May الله سبحانه وتعالى grant all our beloved mothers who have passed away the highest stages in Jannatul Firdose إنشاء الله. ..آمين

"Don't let your victories go to your head and don't let your failures get to your heart..remember with the help of Allah YOU CAN DO IT InshaAllah

Have I Given Up as a Parent?

Have I Given Up as a Parent?

 

Many parents nowadays have a common concern & complaint - they cannot speak to their children anymore. If they do try to speak to them, it ends up in a fight or argument. Thus most parents today have simply given up. However to “give up” is to abandon one’s duty & responsibility as a parent. To make an effort on our child is our duty. This is within our control. However the fruits of our efforts, that the child becomes rightly guided, depends on the command of اللَّهُ Subhana Ta'ala. & this is definitely not within our control.

 

Since we have become so absorbed in wanting to see the fruits of our efforts, we have as a result given up the effort itself which was within our control.

 

We must continue to encourage &  advise our children. We should also constantly make duaa  for them & beseech اللَّهُ Subhana T'ala thus:

 

“Oh Allah Ta’ala, You alone can guide & safeguard my child against the trials & challenges of the day.”

 

Let us be positive by looking at the power of اللَّهُ Subhana Ta'ala & not be negative by looking at our own weaknesses.

 

May اللَّهُ Subhana Ta'ala guide our children on the Siraatul Mustaqeem & help us as parents to bring up our kids on Quraan & Sunnah.  

 

DUA FOR OUR CHILDREN & SPOUSES 

 

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

 

Rabbana Hablana min azwaajina wa zurriy-yatina, qurrata ‘a'- yunin waj alna lil-muttaqeena Imaama  

 

Translation: O my Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous [Qur'aan 25:74]

Mightier than a Missile

Mightier than a Missile By Moulana Khalid Dhorat When the Americans dropped a small 10-kiloton nuclear bomb in the August of 1945 on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, 66 000 people died instantly. A huge fireball was seen, 1000 times more intense than lightning, and people up to 10 km’s away were permanently blinded by just witnessing it. The clothing of some as far as 15 km’s away, caught fire; whilst many were burnt beyond recognition within five km’s of ground zero. The windows of homes 20 km’s away were shattered whilst those nearer were completely destroyed by the gale-force nuclear winds travelling up to 600 km’s per hour. None could escape. If all the superpowers of the world were to drop their nuclear bombs now on the world, the living world – the people, animals, plant and marine life – will come to an end within seconds. Mountains will be flattened and due to the intense radiation, life will not revive for a few centuries thereafter. The world will resort back to the ice ages. Many people mistakenly believe that there is nothing more deadly than a nuclear missile, but there is one thing more deadly - the displeasure and curse of your mother. Sacrifice of a Mother Think of your beloved mother sitting on a hard stool, slowly sipping cold tea from a chipped cup in a gloomy old-age home. Her heater is switched on in summer too, but the bars are so worn out that it produces no heat. Her favourite item of comfort is a quilt that she inherited from her own mother 50 years ago; and of course her plastic pill-box, which is always filled by the nurses daily. Sadly, she moved out of her son’s house just one year after her husband passed away, not because she was chased out, but because she felt that she wouldn’t be a burden to any of her children who could now go on holiday at any time without worrying about her wheelchair and medication. Now let us go 40 years back when this same mother was expecting you. Did she think that you would be a burden to her, having to feed you, burp you, and then also change your stinky nappies!!! Did she think about dropping you in a trash can because you would vomit at any time on her designer carpet? Did she reason that having a baby would spoil her hourglass figure, and she wouldn’t be able to fit in her favourite jeans after that? The fact that our mothers bore all these difficulties with love and patience is enough to make us her captive for life. Ponder on the fact that upon birth, there was a cozy blanket awaiting your arrival in the cold world; but even before this, your mother carried you within three levels of comfort: in her tummy, in her womb and within her fluids wherein you could move and frolic freely. The umbilical cord connected you to her, nourishing you, like an invisible comforting hand, until you were delivered in a death-like pain in this world. After delivering you, your mother had to sacrifice the comfort of her home and go to her mother’s place to ensure that you were properly cared for. She happily nursed you, sleeping only when you slept and eating only when you ate. She rubbed ointment on your rear due to your nappy rash, but didn’t bother about the stretch marks on her own tummy. She sacrificed her favorite biryaani because the masoor – those small brown balls – would’ve given you wind, and she made sure you had 10 pairs of clothing at any given time whilst her slipper needed upgrading eight years ago. When she felt dizzy or when her blood pressure rose, she couldn’t even take medication because the medicine could have affected the milk she fed you. In fact, no amount of words can do justice to the selfless love and sacrifice of a mother to the degree that even if she were to give birth to a snake, she wouldn’t abandon it. A person asked our Holy Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) if he would fulfill the rights of his mother if he carried her from Madeenah Munawwarah to Makkah Mukarramah for Hajj and back and the answer he received blew his socks off: “This action wouldn’t even suffice for one sip of milk she nursed you with.” Sadly, today we are witnessing the return of the Muslim old-age home, and more sadly, our parents actually see it as a solution to their problems. A Different Relationship Due to the supreme sacrifice of a mother, our relationship with her is not like other relationships. If we have a “give and take” policy with our partner, or a tolerant attitude with our neighbour, an attitude of respect with our teacher, or a habit of overlooking the faults of our children, then to our mother, it is about not saying even “oof” or “aagh” to her. It is not about merely obeying her, but about pleasing her and making her as comfortable as possible. It’s about making her your priority in life and to carry out whatever she tells you, unless it is wrong or in matters of clear disobedience to the Creator. In short, it’s a relationship of blind love. Our noble Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) prophesized that a distressing time will come when people will listen to their wives, and disobey their mother. In fact, some of our youngsters start their journey of rudeness to their mother from their teen years already, breaking her heart over and over again, until when they marry, she becomes just a burden in their life. The tragedy of the modern day is that if we demand from our parents, especially our mothers, items that they cannot provide, they are no good to us anymore. If they cannot fund our weekend outings, upgrade our wardrobe with the latest trends, and send us on holiday, they are useless. She is treated like a piece of furniture, whose purpose in life is just to put a plate of food on the supper table and make sure the laundry is done. She is nothing but a glorified maid. Conversely, if our mothers were to attach a price for her service to her children, a solid gold bar per day in payment until the end of our lives, would be insufficient. Consequence of Disobedience Whatever a parent does for their children is done from the heart. So, if they pray for the happiness and success of their children, it will be from the heart. According to a hadeeth, it is highly unlikely that a sincere prayer for a parent in favour of their children will go unanswered. So, your success in this world and the next depends on how happy you keep your parents – not only as a carefree child, but as an adult saddled with all the responsibilities of life. Obedient children will be successful in life, whilst disobedient children will never be successful. Many people in society, when asked about the reason for their success in life, will attribute it to one thing only: the prayers of their parents. Indeed, fortunate children simply die for those moments wherein they feel the air of paradise on their face – the time when heartfelt prayers emanate from the lips of their parents. This does not mean that we should obey our parents in a way that we trample on the rights of others – like our spouse – but it should be done in a sensible way. Making obedience to parents a pretext to undermine our duty to others is a hallmark of our ignorance and our cunning ability of using “religious blackmail” to shirk our duty. Sometimes parents even make use of this “religious blackmail” to influence their children against their partners. Sayyiduna ‘Alqamah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) was a sahaabi known for his piety, but he was unable to recite the shahaadah (testimony of faith) on his death-bed. It was learnt that the reason for this was that his mother was displeased with him on some account. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) ordered that a huge pile of wood be gathered and ‘Alqamah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) be burnt alive therein before his actual death. When his mother who refused to forgive him at the time, learnt of this, she exclaimed: “How can my son be burnt!!” She was told that if she didn’t forgive him, he would be burnt in any case in the Hereafter. The sight of the firewood was enough to stir her sympathy, and she forgave her son. Just then, ‘Alqamah’s tongue was released, he recited the shahaadah and he passed into the mercy of the Almighty. The displeasure of ‘Alqamah’s (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) mother was more deadly than a nuclear bomb. A nuclear bomb would’ve wiped you off the face of this earth and that would be the end, but the displeasure of your mother would ensure your eternal damnation. People who didn’t make peace with their parents before they died have a pain in their heart that can never be settled; whilst those who lost their parents whilst on good terms with them will testify that a huge chunk of blessings that they witnessed during their lifetime was also lost forever. Conclusion A mother remains a mother, not until you can walk on your own or feed yourself; but until your death. She worries for you more than herself, and then repeats the cycle all over again with her grandchildren. So, it is natural that if someone sacrifices their entire life for you, you need to sacrifice yours for them. The Almighty demands this level of obedience and respect to our parents, anything less is regarded as selfishness and a deficiency in our duty to them. Due to old age, many parents start acting childishly and may be stubborn in their ways, but remember if they could put up with your childish ways and stubbornness when you were in nappies, you need to patiently tolerate them if they are in nappies now. This is the test of your devotion – a test which you cannot afford to fail. Never let them feel unwanted in your home. Rather smile at them as they take an awkward step back and forth, for a loving smile at ones parents is equivalent to an accepted hajj and ‘umrah according to a hadeeth. So go on. Give your parents a huge hug and a smile today and every day after this. Overlook their mistakes and earn paradise the easy way through them.

In Praise of the Home-Maker

In Praise of the Home-Maker - Alhamdulillah

'And I in turn will do the same to my kids'

It's an icy cold winter's morning sitting in the comforts of my home and enjoying a hot cuppa coffee. Suddenly feelings of inner contentment and serenity engulf me. It dawns on me - far too many women feel unimportant, unrecognised and apologetic for being full-time housewives. I prefer the term 'homemaker' - an infinitely better description of a tremendously important role. And so, as an occasion arises with its heavy demands on women, let us reflect upon the vital art of homemaking.

How special you feel in a home that is always open with a warm welcome. The kind of old-fashioned home with enough love to spare for outsiders, which beckons you to sit down and relax. In it you'll find a wise blend of order and flexibility.

A mother who doesn't fuss if her children and friends run in and out... who is never too busy to sit down for a chat with a friend, a confused teenager or lonely widow. Not that she isn't busy or creative. She probably is, but she recognizes one of the advantages of being Queen of the Home; of having flexitime, which allows her to set aside plans in order to help someone in need, or to rush into the garden to share a small wonder with a child.

Lifestyles and options are changing. Many women need, or prefer to work. But full-time home making is a career option, which allows you to make of it what you will. It requires many skills ranging from communication and management to cookery and economics. She'll find time to listen to her family, to friends young and old, rendering invaluable emotional "first-aid."

A good homemaker knows the home is the heart of society - a place where family and friends can be nurtured. In swiftly changing times it can be provide a sense of security and continuity where children soak up happy experiences and memories that will affect their whole lives.

If you're a bride, anticipate your career as a homemaker with joy. If you're a mature woman who has spent years learning the art of home-making, never be apologetic about being 'only a housewife.' Glow with pride at having chosen such a vital role.

I have come to value this 'way of life' through the will and grace of ALLAH TA'ALA by blessing me with a stay-at-home mother who showered me with guidance, compassion, generosity and love. And I in turn will do the same to my kids.


May ALLAH TA'ALA give us all women the faith of Aasiyah (Radhiyallahu Anha), purity of Maryam (Radhiyallahu Anha), love of Khadija (Radhiyallahu Anha), affection and knowledge of Aa'ishah (Radhiyallahu Anha), and the favour of being with them in Jannah. Aameen.

A Daughter's Prayer

A Daughter's Prayer

My mother nurtured me to be strong and beautiful inside out, just like the roots of a flower, when I sway help me to stand firm again.

My father disciplined me to be a principled valued member of society. When I feel like my integrity is being questioned or trampled upon, help me to rise again and stand tall.

My mother taught me the art of sharing and the etiquette of caring, when I feel cold in my heart, help me to share and care again let warmth radiate through.

My father placed his protective hand over my head when fear gripped me and gave me courage to face those fears. When I feel scared to stand up for justice strengthen the impediment in my speech and clear the thick cloud of doubt that may surround me.

My mother thought me to love with each beat of my heart; she loved me unconditionally even when I acted like a little monster. When I attempt to instill goodness and love in children, help me to show them the right way.

My mother, my father - Unqualified teachers, Who taught me the value of life...

Jazakallah for the ocean of knowledge I am proud to have been your student!!

What's in a Name??

As Salaamu Alaikum Dear Readers

Whilst expecting and awaiting the arrival for our gift from Allah (swt), we were beseeched by several family member and friend on naming.

After reading the below article I thought it fit to share some advice:

http://the-toast.net/2014/01/15/the-names-they-gave-me/

The expectant mother…advice to her

It is irrefutable that the mother’s proper nourishment has telling effect on the health of the yet-to-bo-born child. In the like manner, the spiritual nourishment of the mother is no less important. If the mother is desirous of an obedient, pious and spiritually healthy child-and which Muslim parent isn’t? – she has no choice but to think and act in a manner which will manifest the luminous spirit of Islam. She will have to spend much time offering her devotions to Allah by performing salaat, making dhikr, reciting the Holy Quraan etc. This will have a two-fold result: the mother will remain spiritually and mentally healthy and at the same time the child will be inheriting piety, good manners and many other angelic qualities - Inshallah.

It is no wonder then that these angelic qualities are often manifested in the infancy of many a great personality. It is said of some Auliyaa-Allah that they were born with certain portions of the Holy Quraan already imprinted in their memory. Others even refused to drink the milk of their mother during the holy month of Ramadaan.

I read this authentic incident mentioned in the Bukhari and Muslim to substantiate that the acts of virtue of parents certainly have positive effects on their progenies for generations to come.

 

It is after reading this story and the virtures of this courageous lady I named my daughter: Umm Sulaym and Abu Talhah were married. Anas (RA), her son, were pleased and the Muslims would say: “We have never yet heard of a mahr that was more valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym for she made Islam her mahr.” Aboo Talhah (RA), a companion of Rasoolullah (Sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam) had a son who had fallen gravely ill. During that period the father had to leave home for a number of days on an important errand, leaving the child to the care of the mother. Whilst away, the sickness caused the death of the child.

The mother beseeched the people not to inform her husband even when he returned. When he returned his very first enquiry was about his son. When answered that he (their son) is presently in a more comfortable state than that which he had been in… meaning that death had rendered him peace and comfort. By this answer the husband understood that he had recuperated. She then offered him his supper which he ate with relish. The good wife then even adorned herself as best she could which filled him with passionate feelings. When she saw that his needs had been tended to then only did she disclose to him the death of their son. This stark news proved a severe blow to him. He was annoyed and overcome with intense grief… that she had not disclosed to him the child’s fate earlier, and, instead allowed him to perform an act which necessitates ghusl.

At daybreak he approached Rasoolullah (Sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam) and related to him what had transpired during the night. Rasoolullah (Sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam) intently asked him whether they had copulated. When he answered in the affirmative, he blessed them by saying: “O Allah, grant them blessings for what had transpired during the night.” A male issue was born of them whose Tahneek was done by Rasoolullah (Sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam). He named him “Abdullah”. When Abdullah grew up and married, Allah Ta’ala blessed him with nine children, all of whom became huffaaz of the Holy Quraan and leaned Ulamaa of their time. This overwhelming attainment can only be attributed to the acts of virtue of the grand-mother of these ulamaa.

 

Umm Sulaym was a model Muslim, a model wife and mother. Her belief in Allah was strong and uncompromising. She was not prepared to endanger her faith and the upbringing of her children for wealth and luxury, however abundant and tempting.

She was devoted to the Rasoolullah (Sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam) and dedicated her son Anas (RA) to his service. She took the responsibility of educating her children and she played an active part in public life, sharing with the other Muslims the hardships and the joys of building a community and living for the pleasure of Allah.

It becomes apparent from the above incident that acts of virtue of parents not only have a telling effect on their children but also on their progeny's for generations to come.

 

It comes as no surprise that the Rasoolullah (Sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam) gave her the glad tidings that she would enter Jannah - Paradise. In a hadith reported by Bukhari, Muslim and others from Jabir ibn Abdullah (Radhiyallu anhu), he told her: “ I saw myself in a dream entering Paradise, and suddenly I saw Al-Rumaysa bint Milhan, the wife of Abu Talhah"  (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3679).

 

Rasoolullah (Sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam) conferred the title of Damsel of Jannah upon her.

 

 

Keeping the Right Friends

Keeping the Right Friends

'Who we keep company with is reflective of who we are'

For as far back as I can remember, my parents would always admonish me and my siblings to keep good company. My Dad specially had a favorite saying, "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are."

Needless to say, I was always very conscious, and careful about choosing the right people to surround myself with. In Islam it is doubly true and essential to surround yourself with righteous companions, because they will help to keep your feet planted on the straight path, while doing otherwise may lead you astray.

It was Ahmad ibn Harb, rahimahullaah, who said, "There is nothing more beneficial to a Muslim's heart than to mix with the righteous and to watch their actions, while nothing is more harmful to the heart of the Muslim than mixing with sinners, and watching their actions." No matter who you are, or how strong or independent you may feel, no man, or woman, is an island, and you can't make it through this life alone. This is why Islam so stresses the Jama'ah, or the congregation. The sayings that there is strength in numbers and that it is the lone sheep that gets devoured by the wolf are true.

Therefore we need to adopt correct manners, in that we try ardently never to do an action or to befriend anyone without knowing whether the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala is in it or not, and never loving and hating for worldly reasons. For the Prophet of Allah Ta'ala, sallallahu alayhi wassalaam said, "Whoever loves for Allah, and hates for Allah, gives for Allah and withholds for Allah, has completed his faith." (Abu Dawud) So who should be our companions?

First of all they should be good Muslims, who believe in Allah and His Messenger. For Allah Ta'ala says in the Qur'an, "And who so obeys Allah and the Messenger [Muhammad, sallallahu alayhe wassalaam], then they will be in the company of those on whom Allah has bestowed His Grace, of the Prophets, the Siddiqun (those followers of the prophets who were first and foremost to believe in them), the Martyrs, and the Righteous. And how excellent these companions are." [4:69]

Secondly, being around them should make you want to increase in good deeds. Allah Ta'ala says, "And We have sent down to you [O Muhammad, sallallahu alayhe wasallam], the Book [this Qur'an] in truth, confirming the Scriptures that came before it and Mohayminan over it. So judge between them by what Allah has revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging away from the truth that has come to you. To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way. If Allah willed, He would have made you one nation, but that may test you in what He has given you; so strive as in a race in good deeds. The return of you is to Allah; then He will inform you about that in which you used to differ." [5:48]. By aligning ourselves with people who do good deeds, we are then prompted to compete with them in this regard, and thus improving the character and the religion of everyone involved.

Lastly, but by no means the least, our companions should help us to remember Allah Ta'ala. For Allah Ta'ala says, "O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. And whosoever does this, then they are the losers." [63:9] .In this time of hustle and bustle, it is very easy for us to get caught up in the pursuit of worldly gains. This is why it is increasingly important to surround ourselves with people, who will encourage us to think of Allah Ta'ala, in every instance of our lives.

The superiority of the remembrance of Allah was explained by the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, who said, "The example of the one who remembers his Lord, in comparison to the one who does not remember his Lord, is that of a living creature compared to a dead one. (Bukhari)

So let us take stock of the people we spend our time with. Do they fall into the above categories?. If our friends aren't doing these things, then what does being with them say about us?. We should strive to love those who love Allah Ta'ala, and to hate those who hate Allah Ta'ala, and what He has sent down of guidance for humanity. For the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam said, "Whoever possesses three things will find the sweetness of eman. For Allah and His Messenger to be more beloved to him than anything else; to love a person for Allah's sake alone; and to hate to return to disbelief the way he hates to be thrown into the fire." (Bukhari)