Gossiping and Slander by Saajida Malvina

Gossiping and slander has become such a norm within our conversations that we often we fail to realise its seriousness. 

"Hey, have you heard, Zaeem didn't go to see Hannah!" said Rayaan. "Seriously?'' asks Hamzah. "Yes, actually Hannah is going out with Yusuf - and - chatting to few other guys including Ziya and Muneer," says Hamzah giving away some gossip he heard as a matter of fact. "Oh My Word” and here we all thought Hannah was such a good girl, a perfect burqini babe” exclaims Hamzah agitated. 

Above, a typical conversation between two guys oblivious of the fact that they have committed several sins including gossiping, exposing the sin of another Muslim and passing judgment. If the rumours are false, then the sin is worse and slander has just been committed.

Slander is such a serious crime that it is punishable up to 80 lashes. The Qur'an has warned too against disgracing a Muslim and rhetorically ask a person: "Do you like that he eats the flesh of his dead brother?” - Chapter 49.12. Likewise, numerous ahadith of the Prophet (pbuh) have been narrated in this regard including the most famous Hadith: "Backbiting is worse than adultery.” Scholars have deduced that whilst adultery is punishable with stoning to death or hundred lashes depending on whether the person is married or not, adultery is worse because a person committing adultery has wronged our Creator whilst an actual person is wronged in the case of ghibah - backbiting. Hence, seek forgiveness from your Maker and you shall be pardoned; but if you wrong a human and seek his forgiveness there is no guarantee he will pardon you, and not seek justice on the Day of Reckoning.

Why me? 

People say “I am being slandered and rumours are being spread about me. Why me?”

 Here are some of the reasons -

- It could be a test from Almighty Allah and a means of you gaining His proximity.
- People cannot see others successful without being jealous and harbouring ill feelings, hence they try to name and shame people.
- If a person perceives one to be successful, they try to demoralise and demotivate a person from achieving their goals.

How should I respond? 

Scholars receive many queries from youth especially girls who are concerned about their reputations being tarnished via rumours.

My advice is do not be grieved. In the annals of our history, the beloved wife of Muhammad (S), Ayesha (ra) was accused of adultery by hypocrites in Madinah. This could have been considered a golden period of Islam. After more than a month verses were revealed exonerating her, and those who had accused her or spread the rumours were reprimanded and the command was ordered for them to be punished.  If people in the golden period of Islam did not leave the Prophet (S)’s wife then why not attack ordinary mortals like you and I?

One should try and recite the Manzil or the 3 Quls to protect oneself from the evil eye.

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing disturbs your peace of mind. Don't grieve or become upset as you are only satisfying the person who spoke about you.

Is gheebah permissible at times? 

Gheebah, speaking ill of someone behind their back, will only be permissible in extreme cases, for example a problem needs to be solved and to be directed to the correct channel for it to be solved. Other reasons are to testify in court, or to bring about justice. Also, if a person is interested in an individual for marriage purposes, then it's recommended to speak the truth.

Courtesy Radio Islam 

GPS Programming

GPS Programming From Garmin to TomTom and every GPS app besides – the choices are endless when it comes to finding a solution to safe navigation and guidance to the destination. With a GPS in hand, a person feels at home on even foreign roads, casually driving about and comfortably commuting from one point to the next. However, imagine for a moment that a person is all alone and driving through the wilderness at night. Suddenly, he enters an area that is ill-reputed to be fraught with hijackers and robbers. As he enters this area, his GPS system goes absolutely haywire. The system ‘speaks’ and tells him to turn left, but when he glances at the screen, it clearly shows that he should proceed straight ahead without taking any turns. It is not farfetched to believe that this person would break out into a sweat and panic, as he would not know which direction to take in this most dangerous of places. In exactly the same manner, every individual has to traverse his own path of life. In this path, he will face numerous threats and areas of intense darkness. If he safely navigates past all the roadblocks of Shaitaan, potholes of sin and oil-patches of the nafs (carnal desires), he will arrive safe and sound at his destination of Jannah. When a child is born, he carries within him a blank ‘GPS’ system which will guide him throughout his life. As he grows up, it is the input of those around him – primarily his parents – that ‘program’ his GPS. However, when conflicting commands are entered into the GPS system, it causes the entire system to go haywire and crash, leaving the traveler stranded on the roadside or even worse – involved in an accident. As parents, we should all introspect and ask ourselves, “What is the state of my child’s GPS?” Unfortunately, many of us may be guilty of either directly or indirectly saying to our children, “DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO.” As absurd as this may sound, it’s actually way more common than we imagine. How many children are taught that the five daily salaah are compulsory, yet live in a home where salaah is taken casually? How many fathers prevent their children from smoking, yet regularly ask them to empty the ashtray? How many parents teach their children that lying is evil and haraam, yet lie to the teachers of the child when asked to explain why the child was absent? These are just a few examples, and if we seriously ponder, we will be able to find many more. The point is that many of us are causing our children’s’ GPS systems to go haywire and malfunction as we input contradictory commands. The children are told to behave in a certain way, but witness the behaviour and values in their very own homes to be the exact opposite. These ‘double-instructions’ result in the child having ‘double-standards’. For instance, he will reach the conclusion that he should never ever lie – unless he is absolutely certain that he can get away with it. When traversing the dark sections of the path – the sections that are filled with fitnah and in which evil invites from every corner – how will my child’s GPS perform? Will it guide him to safety, or will it plunge him into the pits of ruin and destruction? To a great extent, the choice is ours. Before it’s too late, update the GPS system by doing a daily download of ta’leem in the home and erasing all viruses and malware threats (sins and evils) from our own lives.

Pregnancy resources for Muslim moms + FREE Printable (Re-blogged from Shahira)

Pregnancy resources for Muslim moms + FREE Printable Re-blogged from Shahira

This is the second blog post under Resources for Muslim moms. In this section, we talk about videos, courses, books and colouring booklet catering to the Muslim pregnant women.

Pregnancy is a life-changing and defining phase of one's life and as practising Muslim women, we should be aware of the Islamic rules and practices to be mindful of during this period of our life. Here I am sharing some of the resources that I have personally used and has helped me. Pregnancy is a mind-body connection, the more aware and mindful we are of it, the better outcomes we often have. Educating ourselves about not only the physical strength of the human body but also the resilient energy of the human mind will help us in having a positive experience.

Pregnancy resources for Muslim moms

1) Fiqh of Pregnancy and Newborns by Sheikh Omer Suleiman

I came across this pearl of information during my first pregnancy and it helped me immensely. These lectures explain in detail about all the rulings concerning pregnancy, birth control, abortions - when it is permissible and when it is not, bringing up a child with Ihsan and Iman, the high level a pregnant woman is considered, Aqeeqah, Tahneek and other newborn practices. This covers the entire dos and donts of what a pregnant woman should know and do.

The Ilmflix website where I first came across this seems to have been taken down but there are many YouTube videos of the same. This playlist has all the episodes.

2) Amani Birth - A centre of Birth and Learning

You might have heard of Amani birth books and classes through Facebook groups. I first came across this via a review shared on Sisters magazine

From the review -  It was the AMANI birth preparation CD and booklet that gave me a sense of direction. It guided me in a way that stayed true to my religious beliefs. It is short but very much to the point, and it uses Islamic references all the way through to help me understand that labour is something I could survive. The booklet is 32 pages long and is divided into neat sections. I particularly enjoyed reading the thoughtful note for fathers, advice for that initial breastfeed, and the section that is dedicated to relevant and much-needed supplications.

After interacting with an admin on the Amani Facebook page, they said the books are available in Qatar in Jarir bookstores or we can buy it online from their website. I haven't got time to explore Jarir yet! Hope to get a copy soon.

3) Inherent Birth Pregnancy colouring and affirmation books for Muslimahs

I came across this book when sis Haifa shared it on her Facebook page. I fell in love with this idea and concept especially since it caters to the Muslim women directly.

I recently came across the concept of Positive Affirmations and I know it has already changed my mindset. It is just reaffirming in your mind what your body is already capable of. So I am pretty glad to find an affirmation booklet with the Islamic theme. Want a free e-book titled - Positive Pregnancy Affirmation for Muslim Women - scroll below!

Colouring as I stated before -  COLOURING BOOKS reduces anxiety and creates focus thus relieving stress in a manner similar to meditation. Concentrating on colouring may facilitate the replacement of negative thoughts and images with pleasant ones. Colouring books can be used in daily activity and are a way to get away from technology, which some regard as beneficial to people’s health.

So hopefully this is an excellent resource for pregnant moms around.

4) Faithful birthing by Heileen Zein - Online Teachable courses

A course designed by a Muslimah Doula and childbirth coach for pregnant Muslimah around. The courses via teachable are geared to Muslim women and are from an Islamic perspective. The sister has compiled the video series to provide Muslimah sisters ease in gaining access to crucial information that would immensely help them in having a successful VBAC/Natural birth. There is another course that will help women heal from traumatic birth related experiences. It will include a video series and a workbook that will serve as a guide throughout the process of healing.

She also provides online birth and life coaching services that brings a real and positive transformation to the Muslim women community. She has an active Facebook group catering to support for Pregnant Muslimah - Faithful Birthing

5)Ina May Gaskin- Guide to childbirth

This is not a book with an Islamic theme. In all honesty, there are some uncensored photos. But this book is the most recommended reading material by childbirth educators around the world for women wanting a natural, intervention- free birth and those trying for a VBAC. I can understand why! Having just finished reading it, I am so totally enamoured after knowing the actual physical strength of a woman's body and I am sad I didn't know about this fact during my first pregnancy. It begins with positive birth stories and then explains in details about how labour is done in the Farm community, a community headed by Ina May. It talks about the mind-body connections, the effect medical intervention has on the body and labour and age-old techniques and practices used during labour in different cultures of the world. (I have always been curious in Surah Maryam Verse 25 why Allah commands Maryam AS to shake the palm tree - probably there is a reason for it - aids in the final stage of labour!)  If you are pregnant and want to have a natural birth or be informed about it, get hold of this book!

 POSITIVE PREGNANCY AFFIRMATION FOR MUSLIM WOMEN - FREE E-BOOK

 Are your pregnant? Do you want a list of positive pregnancy affirmations that help you direct your thoughts back to Allah and keep the positive energy flowing?

CLICK HERE FOR A FREE PRINTABLE!

A Unique Nikaah (Pious Woman) ~ Part Three

The Loyalty of Love (Sayyidah Ummu Habeebah radhiyallahu ‘anha – Part Three) In the 6th year A.H. the treaty of Hudaibiyah was formed between the Muslims and the disbelievers of Makkah Mukarramah. When the treaty was formed, other tribes were also allowed to enter the treaty by becoming allies of either the Muslims or the disbelievers. Hence, the Banu Bakr tribe aligned themselves with the Quraish, while the Banu Khuzaa‘ah became the allies of the Muslims. These two tribes had a long history of mutual bloodshed and fighting which finally seemed to cease with the inception of the treaty. Hence, the Banu Khuzaa‘ah were under the impression that they were now safe and at peace. However, the Banu Bakr and Quraish used this impression to their advantage, seeking to eradicate the Banu Khuzaa‘ah once and for all. They thus attacked the Banu Khuzaa‘ah at the dead of night and massacred a large number of their people. As the Banu Khuzaa‘ah were the allies of the Muslims, they wasted not a moment in sending a delegation to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) in Madeenah Munawwarah, requesting his assistance. In the meantime, the Quraish regretted their folly and realized that by attacking the Banu Khuzaa‘ah, they had broken the treaty. Hoping to renew the treaty, they sent Abu Sufyaan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), who had not yet accepted Islam, to Madeenah Munawwarah. When Abu Sufyaan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) entered Madeenah Munawwarah, he came to the home of his daughter, Sayyidah Ummu Habeebah (radhiyallahu ‘anha). Seeing her father, she immediately took the bedding of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and folded it, not allowing her father to sit on it. Noticing this, Abu Sufyaan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) asked her, “O my daughter! Did you fold the bedding because it is not good enough for me, or because I am not good enough to sit on the bedding?” Ummu Habeebah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) replied, “It is the bedding of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and you are an impure disbeliever. Therefore, I do not want you to sit on the bedding of the Rasul of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam).” Hearing this response from his daughter, Abu Sufyaan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) exclaimed, “By Allah! O my daughter, evil has afflicted you after me (i.e. after you left me and accepted Islam)!” Ummu Habeebah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) answered, “No! Rather, Allah Ta‘ala guided me to Islam. O my father, you are the leader and senior of the Quraish. (Hence, when you are a person of such intelligence,) then how is it that it has not yet occurred to you to accept Islam, and you are still worshipping stones that can neither hear nor see?” When Ummu Habeebah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) said this, Abu Sufyaan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) stood and left. (References: Tabaqaat Ibni Sa’d vol. 8, pg. 99, Sharhuz Zarqaani ‘alal Mawaahib vol. 3, pg. 385 and Seeratul Mustafaa (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) vol. 3, pg. 1-6) Lesson: This incident sufficiently highlights the love for Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and loyalty to him, which did not merely burn but rather consumed the heart of Ummu Habeebah (radhiyallahu ‘anha). It was on account of this same love that she could not tolerate her own father, Abu Sufyaan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), sitting on the blessed bedding of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) while he was in the state of disbelief and spiritual impurity. Today, the Ummah does not lack information regarding the sunnah of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). What we lack, however, is that love for Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) which will compel a person to uphold the sunnah and lead his life in a manner that will please Allah Ta‘ala and His Rasul (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) at all times. Once this extent of love – which is an integral part of one’s imaan – is acquired, it will be inconceivable for one to abandon any sunnah. For such a person, the words “It’s sunnah” will translate to “I need to do it” rather than “That means I can leave it out”. Furthermore, this love will not allow one to remain idle while the sunnah of the Beloved (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) is being trampled underfoot. Instead, one will do his utmost to revive every sunnah in his own life and the lives of Muslims.