Muslim girls have eating disorders too
The article hereunder was submitted by a sister who
requested its publication for the benefit of the Muslim community.
When I was put to the task of writing an article related to
counseling, I wracked my mind for an idea. What could I write, after possibly,
a five year academic hiatus? I trawled articles, blogs and websites on the
internet for inspiration. And then a thought: why not write an article on a
problem that has plagued me for most of my teenage and young adult years. A
problem that was, undoubtedly, a deciding factor in choosing my undergraduate
field of study in psychology. Eating Disorders.
I did not want this article to be a regurgitating hash of
psychological terms and textbook-style definitions. Open any book, magazine
article or website on Eating Disorders and you will read this. Nor did I want
this article to be about Mary* (pseudonym for a person that probably does not
even exist) and how Mary manages to overcome her obsession with food. I wanted
to share with you my story. The story of a Muslim woman whom struggled for many
years with a mental illness that is commonly thought of as a disease of the
west.
Almost everyone has a love of food. Our gatherings and
celebrations are often centered on mouth-watering, delicious dishes and
calorific, sugar-laden desserts. Food has a universal appeal. It transcends
religions and cultures. Nevertheless just about every person has said, at least
once, that they need “to go on a diet.” For some people, however, this goes far
beyond simply choosing a low-fat or non-fat version of a foodstuff in a bid to
be healthier. It becomes a serious and life-threatening reality. An anxiety
that consumes every second of their waking lives.
I know this obsession by its first-name. It was an unwelcome
guest for a countless many breakfasts, lunches and dinners. I struggled day
after day; often feeling like a war was being waged on my body and in my mind.
And I felt very alone. A Muslim girl suffering from an eating disorder? Unheard
of. There were definitely others like me, but we were blanketed by the
disapproval of a society that assumes these are the problems of the “white
girls.”
It was only after researching social network sites and the
internet that I realized; Eating Disorders are prevalent amongst Muslim females
and in certain cases, Muslim males. It is a growing phenomenon and is often
overlooked. Do we presume that because a woman wears a hijab, she is immune to
media and social pressures that dictate a certain standard of beauty? A Muslim
woman may be the embodiment of modesty and reserve, but she is still just a
woman. I am not sheltered in a cocoon, blissfully unaffected by a measure that
values the lithe and slender.
I particularly remember an incident when I was in the
awkward phase of puberty- a time of teenage angst and melodrama, and whilst
visiting some family members, an old lady said to my mother, “she could be
pretty if she lost some weight.”
This comment, although it was probably well-meaning, was
very damaging to my emerging self-esteem and it became the twisted motivation I
used to starve myself.
Fast-forward a few years and I beat my body into submission.
I became an emaciated version of my former self. At the peak of my struggle
with my eating disorder, I felt at the lowest ebb of my Iman. The blessed month
of Ramadaan became my enabler and often times I questioned myself, “was I fasting
for myself or for Allah.” An eating disorder is a debilitating disease and it
encumbers you from doing what you really want to do. Your spirituality is put
to the test.
On the contrary, I finally received approval from the
marriage police. You know the sort- those well connected aunties who rate you
based on a number of factors: complexion, eye-colour, body size and social
class. If you were fair, green-eyed, slim and from a good family, then you
rated extremely high on the potential bride scale. You would hardly, if ever,
hear about the girl that was an excellent match for so-and-so because of her
good character. These are the unspoken rules of our society. A society that
frowns upon anything remotely westernized yet uses these same shallow principals
when discussing young Muslim women as prospective brides-to-be.
Therefore, we should not only blame the western
objectification of women’s bodies, fashion and clothing. We are far too quick
to lay fault on modern ideals. “These young girls are obsessed by movie stars,”
is often our repetitive complaint. Perhaps we need to rethink the discourses of
our own culture.
Through the immeasurable mercy of the Almighty, this story
has a happy ending. I have thankfully, managed to overcome my eating disorder
and my obsession with being a size zero. It is important to seek the help of a
professional counselor or psychologist to defeat this mental illness. I also
firmly believe in the power of supplication and in earnestly asking our Creator
for help and forgiveness to supplement ones treatment.
“There is no disease that Allah has created, except that He
has also created its treatment.” (Al-Bukhari)
It is my sincere wish
that this article will help, inspire and encourage others. After reading this,
I hope they realize that they are not alone in their struggles. Muslim girls have
eating disorders too.
