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My dear daughters! I do realise that (even if
you do not prepare yourself while in your parents’ home, then) the day will
eventually come when you will have improved, acquired the skills that you need
and learnt what you need to know. As time passes, your weaknesses will
transform into skills, because you will learn from the difficulties that you
underwent and the mistakes that you made.
However, of what good will it be,
when people who wished well for you and had aspirations in you would no longer
be around? It is my aspiration that you
begin, from now, acquiring all the qualities and skills that will shield you
from the challenges and difficulties that you will face later on.
If you think that you ‘know it all’, and you
will be able to deal with the demand of every occasion, then you are absolutely
wrong and mistaken, even though you may have occasionally sewed yourself an
outfit, or cut out the draft and design of a garment, or cooked a pot of food
now and again, or embroidered on a kurta, topi or purse at some point, or you
learnt to read the Quraan Majeed and a few kitaabs in some madrasah and then
left, and let alone understanding the kitaabs – you did not even know what
subject the kitaab was written on! Can this ever be regarded as
capability, and can such a person be considered competent? If
someone has to ask you a question, then you will be left speechless.
What is required of you is that when you need to
perform some task, then regardless of how difficult, complicated or intricate
the task may be, you must be able to accomplish it with complete ease and
competence. You must neither require the
assistance of people, nor should you be dependent and reliant on a domestic
worker. It must not be such that you cannot complete your domestic
work without burdening your elders or the men folk of the family to help you.
Instead, you must display such intelligence and energy in attending to
your domestic work and tasks that even the men folk of your family will be
impressed with you and marvel at your ability and efficiency.
Look after your children, raise them correctly
and care for them well. When they are sick then nurse them to good health while
also seeing to the running of the home and other domestic responsibilities. You should not become so engrossed in attending to one
responsibility, that in the process you neglect a hundred other
responsibilities. Instead, you should be mindful of all your
responsibilities and show due attention to everything. You should also enquire
and find out what is happening out of the home from time to time[1].
If you acquire all these qualities and skills,
then even if you encounter an unfavourable situation, you will be able to turn
it to your advantage. If something gets damaged, you will be able to apply your
intelligence to find the solution and remedy it. You will know who your friends
are, and you will similarly know who your enemies are. When you speak, then you will not utter anything that will put
yourself into a problem or that will hurt others. You will completely avoid all
fights, arguments and quarrels. You will find people all over welcoming
you and receiving you with warmth and love. In fact, you will even win the
hearts of your enemies and turn them into your friends. Nobody will have a
chance or opportunity to complain about you.
On account of you behaving intelligently at all
times, people will show love and affection for you. Thereafter, even if perchance you do something unintelligent,
people will not regard it to be irrational, since the occasional foolish action
of an intelligent person is overlooked. On the other hand, when
a person is foolish, then even if he happens to do or say something
intelligent, many people will still view his action or statement in the light
of his foolishness. Furthermore, because a fool lacks intelligence, then he
often causes problems where none existed. He turns his friends into enemies,
whereas an intelligent person turns his enemies into his friends.
In order for you to correctly understand and
practise on the advices that I have given you thus far, as well as the advices
that I am still going to give you, it will be necessary for you to apply your
mind and intelligence and ponder deeply over what I have mentioned. You must realize that every virtue of this world and the next can
only be attained if you learn to think and reason correctly. Intelligence and
hayaa (modesty and bashfulness) are two invaluable gems. This quality of hayaa
is also such that it will save you from many wrongs.
[1] This will refer to those things that
concern us, relate to us and will benefit us. For example, we should know if
any woman in our locality is sick so that we could visit her and help her, or
if any person passed away, so that we can console them, or if any person is in
need so that we can render them assistance, or if there is a Deeni programme
taking place in the locality, we could attend it, etc.