Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Aishah bint Abi Bakr

Aishah bint Abi Bakr

The life of Aishah is proof that a woman can be far more learned than men and that she can be the teacher of scholars and experts. Her life is also proof that a woman can exert influence over men and women and provide them with inspiration and leadership. Her life is also proof that the same woman can be totally feminine and be a source of pleasure, joy and comfort to her husband.

She did not graduate from any university there were no universities as such in her day. But still her utterances are studied in faculties of literature, her legal pronouncements are studied in colleges of law and her life and works are studied and researched by students and teachers of Muslim history as they have been for over a thousand years.

The bulk of her vast treasure of knowledge was obtained while she was still quite young. In her early childhood she was brought up by her father who was greatly liked and respected for he was a man of wide knowledge, gentle manners and an agreeable presence. Moreover he was the closest friend of the noble Prophet who was a frequent visitor to their home since the very early days of his mission.

In her youth, already known for her striking beauty and her formidable memory, she came under the loving care and attention of the Prophet
himself. As his wife and close companion she acquired from him knowledge and insight such as no woman has ever acquired.

Aishah became the Prophet's wife in Makkah. Before and after her wedding she maintained a natural jollity and innocence and did not seem at all overawed by the thought of being wedded to him who was the Messenger of Allah
whom all his companions, including her own mother and father, treated with such love and reverence as they gave to no one else.

About her wedding, she related

They dressed her in a wedding-dress made from fine red-striped cloth from Bahrain and then her mother took her to the newly-built house where some women of the Ansar were waiting outside the door. They greeted her with the words "For good and for happiness may all be well!" Then, in the presence of the smiling Prophet, a bowl of milk was brought. The Prophet drank from it himself and offered it to Aishah. She shyly declined it but when he insisted she did so and then offered the bowl to her sister Asma who was sitting beside her. Others also drank of it and that was as much as there was of the simple and solemn occasion of their wedding.

Marriage to the Prophet did not change her playful ways. Her young friends came regularly to visit her in her own apartment.

"I would be playing with my dolls," she said, "with the girls who were my friends, and the Prophet would come in and they would slip out of the house and he would go out after them and bring them back, for he was pleased for my sake to have them there." Sometimes he would say "Stay where you are" before they had time to leave, and would also join in their games. Aishah said: "One day, the Prophet came in when I was playing with the dolls and he said: 'O Aishah, whatever game is this?' 'It is Solomon's horses,' I said and he laughed."

Aishah's early life in Madinah also had its more serious and anxious times. Once her father and two companions who were staying with him fell ill with a dangerous fever which was common in Madinah at certain seasons. One morning Aishah went to visit him and was dismayed to find the three men lying completely weak and exhausted. She asked her father how he was and he answered her in verse but she did not understand what he was saying. The two others also answered her with lines of poetry which seemed to her to be nothing but unintelligible babbling. She was deeply troubled and went home to the Prophet saying:

"They are raving, out of their minds, through the heat of the fever." The Prophet asked what they had said and was somewhat reassured when she repeated almost word for word the lines they had uttered and which made sense although she did not fully understand them then. This was a demonstration of the great retentive power of her memory which as the years went by were to preserve so many of the priceless sayings of the Prophet.

Of the Prophet's wives in Madinah, it was clear that it was Aishah that he loved most. From time to time, one or the other of his companions would ask:

"O Messenger of Allh , whom do you love most in the world?" He did not always give the same answer to this question for he felt great love for many for his daughters and their children, for Abu Bakr, for Ali, for Zayd and his son Usamah. But of his wives the only one he named in this connection was Aishah. She too loved him greatly in return and often would seek reassurance from him that he loved her. Once she asked him: "How is your love for me?"

"Like the rope's knot," he replied meaning that it was strong and secure. And time after time thereafter, she would ask him: "How is the knot?" and he would reply: "Ala haaliha in the same condition."

As she loved the Prophet so was her love a jealous love and she could not bear the thought that the Prophet's attentions should be given to others more than seemed enough to her. She asked him:

"O Messenger of Allah, tell me of yourself. If you were between the two slopes of a valley, one of which had not been grazed whereas the other had been grazed, on which would you pasture your flocks?"

"On that which had not been grazed," replied the Prophet. "Even so," she said, "and I am not as any other of your wives. "Everyone of them had a husband before you, except myself." The Prophet smiled and said nothing. Of her jealousy, Aishah would say in later years:

"I was not, jealous of any other wife of the Prophet as I was jealous of Khadijah, because of his constant mentioning of her and because God had commanded him to give her good tidings of a mansion in Paradise of precious stones. And whenever he sacrificed a sheep he would send a fair portion of it to those who had been her intimate friends. Many a time I said to him: "It is as if there had never been any other woman in the world except Khadijah."

Once, when Aishah complained and asked why he spoke so highly of "an old Quraysh woman", the Prophet was hurt and said: "She was the wife who believed in me when others rejected me. When people gave me the lie, she affirmed my truthfulness. When I stood forsaken, she spent her wealth to lighten the burden of my sorrow.."

Despite her feelings of jealousy which nonetheless were not of a destructive kind, Aishah was really a generous soul and a patient one. She bore with the rest of the Prophet's household poverty and hunger which often lasted for long periods. For days on end no fire would be lit in the sparsely furnished house of the Prophet for cooking or baking bread and they would live merely on dates and water. Poverty did not cause her distress or humiliation; self-sufficiency when it did come did not corrupt her style of life.

Once the Prophet stayed away from his wives for a month because they had distressed him by asking of him that which he did not have. This was after the Khaybar expedition when an increase of riches whetted the appetite for presents. Returning from his self-imposed retreat, he went first to Aishah's apartment. She was delighted to see him but he said he had received Revelation which required him to put two options before her. He then recited the verses:

"O Prophet! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world and its adornments, then come and I will bestow its goods upon you, and I will release you with a fair release. But if you desire Allah and His Messenger and the abode of the Hereafter, then verily Allah has laid in store for you an immense reward for such as you who do good."

Aishah's reply was:

"Indeed I desire Allah and His Messenger and the abode of the Hereafter," and her response was followed by all the others.

She stuck to her choice both during the lifetime of the Prophet and afterwards. Later when the Muslims were favored with enormous riches, she was given a gift of one hundred thousand dirhams. She was fasting when she received the money and she distributed the entire amount to the poor and the needy even though she had no provisions in her house. Shortly after, a maidservant said to her: "Could you buy meat for a dirham with which to break your fast?"

"If I had remembered, I would have done so," she said. The Prophet's affection for Aishah remained to the last. During his final illness, it was to Aishah's apartment that he went at the suggestion of his wives. For much of the time he lay there on a couch with his head resting on her breast or on her lap. She it was who took a toothstick from her brother, chewed upon it to soften it and gave it to the Prophet. Despite his weakness, he rubbed his teeth with it vigorously. Not long afterwards, he lost consciousness and Aishah thought it was the onset of death, but after an hour he opened his eyes.

Aishah it is who has preserved for us these dying moments of the most honoured of God's creation, His beloved Messenger may He shower His choicest blessings on him.

When he opened his eyes again, Aishah remembered Iris having said to her: "No Prophet is taken by death until he has been shown his place in Paradise and then offered the choice, to live or die."

"He will not now choose us," she said to herself.

In the floor of Aishah's room near the couch where he was lying, a grave was dug in which was buried the Seal of the Prophets amid much bewilderment and great sorrow.

Aishah lived on almost fifty years after the passing away of the Prophet. She had been his wife for a decade. Much of this time was spent in learning and acquiring knowledge of the two most important sources of God's guidance, the Quran and the Sunnah of His Prophet. Aishah was one of three wives (the other two being Hafsah and Umm Salamah) who memorized the Revelation. Like Hafsah, she had her own script of the Quran written after the Prophet had died.

So far as the Ahadith or sayings of the Prophet is concerned, Aishah is one of four persons (the others being Abu Hurayrah, Abdullah ibn Umar, and Anas ibn Malik) who transmitted more than two thousand sayings. Many of these pertain to some of the most intimate aspects of personal behavior which only someone in Aishah's position could have learnt. What is most important is that her knowledge of hadith was passed on in written form by at least three persons including her nephew Urwah who became one of the greatest scholars among the generation after the Companions.

Many of the learned companions of the Prophet and their followers benefitted from Aishah's knowledge. Abu Musa al-Ashari once said: "If we companions of the Messenger of God had any difficulty on a matter, we asked Aishah about it."

Her nephew Urwah asserts that she was proficient not only in fiqh but also in medicine (tibb) and poetry. Many of the senior companions of the Prophet came to her to ask for advice concerning questions of inheritance which required a highly skilled mathematical mind. Scholars regard her as one of the earliest fuqaha of Islam along with persons like Umar ibn al-Khattab, Ali and Abdullah ibn Abbas. The Prophet referring to her extensive knowledge of Islam is reported to have said: "Learn a portion of your religion (din) from this red colored lady." "Humayra" meaning "Red-coloured" was an epithet given to Aishah by the Prophet.

Aishah not only possessed great knowledge but took an active part in education and social reform. As a teacher she had a clear and persuasive manner of speech and her power of oratory has been described in superlative terms by al-Ahnaf who said: "I have heard speeches of Abu Bakr and Umar, Uthman and Ali and the Khulafa up to this day, but I have not heard speech more persuasive and more beautiful from the mouth of any person than from the mouth of Aishah."

Men and women came from far and wide to benefit from her knowledge. The number of women is said to have been greater than that of men. Besides answering enquiries, she took boys and girls, some of them orphans, into her custody and trained them under her care and guidance. This was in addition to her relatives who received instruction from her. Her house thus became a school and an academy.

Some of her students were outstanding. We have already mentioned her nephew Urwah as a distinguished reporter of hadith. Among her women pupils is the name of Umrah bint Abdur Rahman.

She is regarded by scholars as one of the trustworthy narrators of hadith and is said to have acted as Aishah's secretary receiving and replying to letters addressed to her. The example of Aishah in promoting education and in particular the education of Muslim women in the laws and teachings of Islam is one which needs to be followed.

Because of the strength of her personality, she was in the forefront in every field in knowledge, in society, in politics and in war. She often regretted her involvement in war but lived long enough to regain position as the most respected woman of her time. She died in the year 58 AH in the month of Ramadan and as she instructed, was buried in the Jannat al-Baqi beside other companions of the Prophet.

Source Lessons from Sahabiyat

Fatimah bint Muhammed

Fatimah bint Muhammad

Fatimah was the fifth child of Muhammad and Khadijah. She was born at a time when her noble father had begun to spend long periods in the solitude of mountains around Makkah, meditating and reflecting on the great mysteries of creation.

This was the time, before the Bithah, when her eldest sister Zaynab was married to her cousin, al-Aas ibn ar Rabiah. Then followed the marriage of her two other sisters, Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum, to the sons of Abu Lahab, a paternal uncle of the Prophet. Both Abu Lahab and his wife Umm Jamil turned out to be flaming enemies of the Prophet from the very beginning of his public mission.

The little Fatimah thus saw her sisters leave home one after the other to live with their husbands. She was too young to understand the meaning of marriage and the reasons why her sisters had to leave home. She loved them dearly and was sad and lonely when they left. It is said that a certain silence and painful sadness came over her then.

Of course, even after the marriage of her sisters, she was not alone in the house of her parents. Barakah, the maid-servant of Aminah, the Prophet's mother, who had been with the Prophet since his birth, Zayd ibn Harithah, and Ali, the young son of Abu Talib were all part of Muhammad's household at this time. And of course there was her loving mother, the lady Khadijah.

In her mother and in Barakah, Fatimah found a great deal of solace and comfort in Ali, who was about two years older than she, she found a "brother" and a friend who somehow took the place of her own brother al-Qasim who had died in his infancy. Her other brother Abdullah, known as the Good and the Pure, who was born after her, also died in his infancy. However in none of the people in her father's household did Fatimah find the carefree joy and happiness which she enjoyed with her sisters. She was an unusually sensitive child for her age.

When she was five, she heard that her father had become Rasul Allah, the Messenger of God. His first task was to convey the good news of Islam to his family and close relations. They were to worship God Almighty alone. Her mother, who was a tower of strength and support, explained to Fatimah what her father had to do. From this time on, she became more closely attached to him and felt a deep and abiding love for him. Often she would be at Iris side walking through the narrow streets and alleys of Makkah, visiting the Kabah or attending secret gatherings off, the early Muslims who had accepted Islam and pledged allegiance to the Prophet.

One day, when she was not yet ten, she accompanied her father to the Masjid al-Haram. He stood in the place known as al-Hijr facing the Kabah and began to pray. Fatimah stood at his side. A group of Quraysh, by no means well-disposed to the Prophet, gathered about him. They included Abu Jahl ibn Hisham, the Prophet's uncle, Uqbah ibn Abi Muayt, Umayyah ibn Khalaf, and Shaybah and Utbah, sons of Rabi'ah. Menacingly, the group went up to the Prophet and Abu Jahl, the ringleader, asked:

"Which of you can bring the entrails of a slaughtered animal and throw it on Muhammad?"

Uqbah ibn Abi Muayt, one of the vilest of the lot, volunteered and hurried off. He returned with the obnoxious filth and threw it on the shoulders of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, while he was still prostrating. Abdullah ibn Masud, a companion of the Prophet, was present but he was powerless to do or say anything.

Imagine the feelings of Fatimah as she saw her father being treated in this fashion. What could she, a girl not ten years old, do? She went up to her father and removed the offensive matter and then stood firmly and angrily before the group of Quraysh thugs and lashed out against them. Not a single word did they say to her. The noble Prophet raised his head on completion of the prostration and went on to complete the Salat. He then said: "O Lord, may you punish the Quraysh!" and repeated this imprecation three times. Then he continued:

"May You punish Utbah, Uqbah, Abu Jahl and Shaybah." (These whom he named were all killed many years later at the Battle of Badr)

On another occasion, Fatimah was with the Prophet as he made; tawaf around the Kabah. A Quraysh mob gathered around him. They seized him and tried to strangle him with his own clothes. Fatimah screamed and shouted for help. Abu Bakr rushed to the scene and managed to free the Prophet. While he was doing so, he pleaded: "Would you kill a man who says, 'My Lord is God?'" Far from giving up, the mob turned on Abu Bakr and began beating him until blood flowed from his head and face.

Such scenes of vicious opposition and harassment against her father and the early Muslims were witnessed by the young Fatimah. She did not meekly stand aside but joined in the struggle in defence of her father and his noble mission. She was still a young girl and instead of the cheerful romping, the gaiety and liveliness which children of her age are and should normally be accustomed to, Fatimah had to witness and participate in such ordeals.

Of course, she was not alone in this. The whole of the Prophet's family suffered from the violent and mindless Quraysh. Her sisters, Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum also suffered. They were living at this time in the very nest of hatred and intrigue against the Prophet. Their husbands were Utbah and Utaybah, sons of Abu Lahab and Umm Jamil. Umm Jamil was known to be a hard and harsh woman who had a sharp and evil tongue. It was mainly because of her that Khadijah was not pleased with the marriages of her daughters to Umm Jamil's sons in the first place. It must have been painful for Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum to be living in the household of such inveterate enemies who not only joined but led the campaign against their father.

As a mark of disgrace to Muhammad and his family, Utbah and Utaybah were prevailed upon by their parents to divorce their wives. This was part of the process of ostracizing the Prophet totally. The Prophet in fact welcomed his daughters back to his home with joy, happiness and relief.

Fatimah, no doubt, must have been happy to be with her sisters once again. They all wished that their eldest sister, Zaynab, would also be divorced by her husband. In fact, the Quraysh brought pressure on Abu-l Aas to do so but he refused. When the Quraysh leaders came up to him and promised him the richest and most beautiful woman as a wife should he divorce Zaynab, he replied:

"I love my wife deeply and passionately and I have a great and high esteem for her father even though I have not entered the religion of Islam."

Both Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum were happy to be back with their loving parents and to be rid of the unbearable mental torture to which they had been subjected in the house of Umm Jamil. Shortly afterwards, Ruqayyah married again, to the young and shy Uthman ibn Allan who was among the first to have accepted Islam. They both left for Abyssinia among the first muhajirin who sought refuge in that land and stayed there for several years. Fatimah was not to see Ruqayyah again until after their mother had died.

The persecution of the Prophet, his family and his followers continued and even became worse after the migration of the first Muslims to Abyssinia. In about the seventh year of his mission, the Prophet and his family were forced to leave their homes and seek refuge in a rugged little valley enclosed by hills on all sides and defile, which could only be entered from Makkah by a narrow path.

To this arid valley, Muhammad and the clans of Banu Hashim and al-Muttalib were forced to retire with limited supplies of food. Fatimah was one of the youngest members of the clans -just about twelve years old - and had to undergo months of hardship and suffering. The wailing of hungry children and women in the valley could be heard from Makkah. The Quraysh allowed no food and contact with the Muslims whose hardship was only relieved somewhat during the season of pilgrimage. The boycott lasted for three years. When it was lifted, the Prophet had to face even more trials and difficulties. Khadijah, the faithful and loving, died shortly afterwards. With her death, the Prophet and his family lost one of the greatest sources of comfort and strength which had sustained them through the difficult period. The year in which the noble Khadijah, and later Abu Talib, died is known as the Year of Sadness. Fatimah, now a young lady, was greatly distressed by her mother's death. She wept bitterly and for some time was so grief-striken that her health deteriorated. It was even feared she might die of grief.

Although her older sister, Umm Kulthum, stayed in the same household, Fatimah realized that she now had a greater responsibility with the passing away of her mother. She felt that she had to give even greater support to her father. With loving tenderness, she devoted herself to looking after his needs. So concerned was she for his welfare that she came to be called "Umm Abi-ha the mother of her father". She also provided him with solace and comfort during times of trial, difficulty and crisis.

Often the trials were too much for her. Once, about this time, an insolent mob heaped dust and earth upon his gracious head. As he entered his home, Fatimah wept profusely as she wiped the dust from her father's head.

"Do not cry, my daughter," he said, "for God shall protect your father." The Prophet had a special love for Fatimah. He once said: "Whoever pleased Fatimah has indeed pleased God and whoever has caused her to be angry has indeed angered God. Fatimah is a part of me. Whatever pleases her pleases me and whatever angers her angers me."

He also said: "The best women in all the world are four: the Virgin Mary, Aasiyaa the wife of Pharoah, Khadijah Mother of the Believers, and Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad." Fatimah thus acquired a place of love and esteem in the Prophet's heart that was only occupied by his wife Khadijah.

Fatimah, may God be pleased with her, was given the title of "az-Zahraa" which means "the Resplendent One". That was because of her beaming face which seemed to radiate light. It is said that when she stood for Prayer, the mihrab would reflect the light of her countenance. She was also called "al-Batul" because of her asceticism. Instead of spending her time in the company of women, much of her time would be spent in Salat, in reading the Quran and in other acts of ibadah.

Fatimah had a strong resemblance to her father, the Messenger of God. Aishah, the wife of the Prophet, said of her: "I have not seen any one of God's creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Fatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting." She would do the same when the Prophet came to her. She would stand up and welcome him with joy and kiss him.

Fatimah's fine manners and gentle speech were part of her lovely and endearing personality. She was especially kind to poor and indigent folk and would often give all the food she had to those in need even if she herself remained hungry. She had no craving for the ornaments of this world nor the luxury and comforts of life. She lived simply, although on occasion as we shall see circumstances seemed to be too much and too difficult for her.

She inherited from her father a persuasive eloquence that was rooted in wisdom. When she spoke, people would often be moved to tears. She had the ability and the sincerity to stir the emotions, move people to tears and fill their hearts with praise and gratitude to God for His grace and His inestimable bounties.

Fatimah migrated to Madinah a few weeks after the Prophet did. She went with Zayd ibn Harithah who was sent by the Prophet back to Makkah to bring the rest of his family. The party included Fatimah and Umm Kulthum, Sawdah, the Prophet's wife, Zayd's wife Barakah and her son Usamah. Travelling with the group also were Abdullah the son of Abu Bakr who accompanied his mother and his sisters, Aishah and Asma.

In Madinah, Fatimah lived with her father in the simple dwelling he had built adjoining the mosque. In the second year after the Hijrah, she received proposals of marriage through her father, two of which were turned down. Then Ali, the son of Abu Talib, plucked up courage and went to the Prophet to ask for her hand in marriage. In the presence of the Prophet, however, Ali became over-awed and tongue-tied. He stared at the ground and could not say anything. The Prophet then asked: "Why have you come? Do you need something?" Ali still could not speak and then the Prophet suggested: "Perhaps you have come to propose marriage to Fatimah."

"Yes," replied Ali. At this, according to one report, the Prophet said simply: "Marhaban wa ahlan - Welcome into the family," and this was taken by Ali and a group of Ansar who were waiting outside for him as indicating the Prophet's approval. Another report indicated that the Prophet approved and went on to ask Ali if he had anything to give as mahr. Ali replied that he didn't. The Prophet reminded him that he had a shield which could be sold.

Ali sold the shield to Uthman for four hundred dirhams and as he was hurrying back to the Prophet to hand over the sum as mahr, Uthman stopped him and said:

"I am returning your shield to you as a present from me on your marriage to Fatimah." Fatimah and Ali were thus married most probably at the beginning of the second year after the Hijrah. She was about nineteen years old at the time and Ali was about twenty one. The Prophet himself performed the marriage ceremony. At the walimah, the guests were served with dates, figs and hais ( a mixture of dates and butter fat). A leading member of the Ansar donated a ram and others made offerings of grain. All Madinah rejoiced.

On her marriage, the Prophet is said to have presented Fatimah and Ali with a wooden bed intertwined with palm leaves, a velvet coverlet, a leather cushion filled with palm fibre, a sheepskin, a pot, a waterskin and a quern for grinding grain.

Fatimah left the home of her beloved father for the first time to begin life with her husband. The Prophet was clearly anxious on her account and sent Barakah with her should she be in need of any help. And no doubt Barakah was a source of comfort and solace to her. The Prophet prayed for them:

"O Lord, bless them both, bless their house and bless their offspring." In Ali's humble dwelling, there was only a sheepskin for a bed. In the morning after the wedding night, the Prophet went to Ali's house and knocked on the door.

Barakah came out and the Prophet said to her: "O Umm Ayman, call my brother for me."

"Your brother? That's the one who married your daughter?" asked Barakah somewhat incredulously as if to say: Why should the Prophet call Ali his "brother"? (He referred to Ali as his brother because just as pairs of Muslims were joined in brotherhood after the Hijrah, so the Prophet and Ali were linked as "brothers".)

The Prophet repeated what he had said in a louder voice. Ali came and the Prophet made a du'a, invoking the blessings of God on him. Then he asked for Fatimah. She came almost cringing with a mixture of awe and shyness and the Prophet said to her:

"I have married you to the dearest of my family to me." In this way, he sought to reassure her. She was not starting life with a complete stranger but with one who had grown up in the same household, who was among the first to become a Muslim at a tender age, who was known for his courage, bravery and virtue, and whom the Prophet described as his "brother in this world and the hereafter".

Fatimah's life with Ali was as simple and frugal as it was in her father's household. In fact, so far as material comforts were concerned, it was a life of hardship and deprivation. Throughout their life together, Ali remained poor because he did not set great store by material wealth. Fatimah was the only one of her sisters who was not married to a wealthy man.

In fact, it could be said that Fatimah's life with Ali was even more rigorous than life in her father's home. At least before marriage, there were always a number of ready helping hands in the Prophet's household. But now she had to cope virtually on her own. To relieve their extreme poverty, Ali worked as a drawer and carrier of water and she as a grinder of corn. One day she said to Ali: "I have ground until my hands are blistered."

"I have drawn water until I have pains in my chest," said Ali and went on to suggest to Fatimah: "God has given your father some captives of war, so go and ask him to give you a servant."

Reluctantly, she went to the Prophet who said: "What has brought you here, my little daughter?" "I came to give you greetings of peace," she said, for in awe of him she could not bring herself to ask what she had intended.

"What did you do?" asked Ali when she returned alone.

"I was ashamed to ask him," she said. So the two of them went together but the Prophet felt they were less in need than others.

"I will not give to you," he said, "and let the Ahl as-Suffah (poor Muslims who stayed in the mosque) be tormented with hunger. I have not enough for their keep..."

Ali and Fatimah returned home feeling somewhat dejected but that night, after they had gone to bed, they heard the voice of the Prophet asking permission to enter. Welcoming him, they both rose to their feet, but he told them:

"Stay where you are," and sat down beside them. "Shall I not tell you of something better than that which you asked of me?" he asked and when they said yes he said: "Words which Jibril taught me, that you should say "Subhaan Allah- Glory be to God" ten times after every Prayer, and ten times "AI hamdu lillah - Praise be to God," and ten times "Allahu Akbar - God is Great." And that when you go to bed you should say them thirty-three times each."

Ali used to say in later years: "I have never once failed to say them since the Messenger of God taught them to us."

There are many reports of the hard and difficult times which Fatimah had to face. Often there was no food in her house. Once the Prophet was hungry. He went to one after another of his wives' apartments but there was no food. He then went to Fatimah's house and she had no food either. When he eventually got some food, he sent two loaves and a piece of meat to Fatimah. At another time, he went to the house of Abu Ayyub al-Ansari and from the food he was given, he saved some for her. Fatimah also knew that the Prophet was without food for long periods and she in turn would take food to him when she could. Once she took a piece of barley bread and he, said to her: "This is the first food your father has eaten for three days."

Through these acts of kindness she showed how much she loved her father; and he loved her, really loved her in return.

Once he returned from a journey outside Madinah. He went to the mosque first of all and prayed two rakats as was his custom. Then, as he often did, he went to Fatimah's house before going to his wives. Fatimah welcomed him and kissed his face, his mouth and his eyes and cried. "Why do you cry?" the Prophet asked. "I see you, O Rasul Allah," she said, "Your color is pale and sallow and your clothes have become worn and shabby." "O Fatimah," the Prophet replied tenderly, "don't cry for Allah has sent your father with a mission which He would cause to affect every house on the face of the earth whether it be in towns, villages or tents (in the desert) bringing either glory or humiliation until this mission is fulfilled just as night (inevitably) comes." With such comments Fatimah was often taken from the harsh realities of daily life to get a glimpse of the vast and far-reaching vistas opened up by the mission entrusted to her noble father.

Fatimah eventually returned to live in a house close to that of the Prophet. The place was donated by an Ansari who knew that the Prophet would rejoice in having his daughter as his neighbor. Together they shared in the joys and the triumphs, the sorrows and the hardships of the crowded and momentous Madinah days and years.

In the middle of the second year after the Hijrah, her sister Ruqayyah fell ill with fever and measles. This was shortly before the great campaign of Badr. Uthman, her husband, stayed by her bedside and missed the campaign. Ruqayyah died just before her father returned. On his return to Madinah, one of the first acts of the Prophet was to visit her grave.

Fatimah went with him. This was the first bereavement they had suffered within their closest family since the death of Khadijah. Fatimah was greatly distressed by the loss of her sister. The tears poured from her eyes as she sat beside her father at the edge of the grave, and he comforted her and sought to dry her tears with the corner of his cloak.

The Prophet had previously spoken against lamentations for the dead, but this had lead to a misunderstanding, and when they returned from the cemetery the voice of Umar was heard raised in anger against the women who were weeping for the martyrs of Badr and for Ruqayyah.

"Umar, let them weep," he said and then added: "What comes from the heart and from the eye, that is from God and His mercy, but what comes from the hand and from the tongue, that is from Satan." By the hand he meant the beating of breasts and the smiting of cheeks, and by the tongue he meant the loud clamor in which women often joined as a mark of public sympathy.

Uthman later married the other daughter of the Prophet, Umm Kulthum, and on this account came to be known as Dhu-n Nurayn - Possessor of the Two Lights.

The bereavement which the family suffered by the death of Ruqayyah was followed by happiness when to the great joy of all the believers Fatimah gave birth to a boy in Ramadan of the third year after the Hijrah. The Prophet spoke the words of the Adhan into the ear of the new-born babe and called him al-Hasan which means the Beautiful One.

One year later, she gave birth to another son who was called al-Husayn, which means "little Hasan" or the little beautiful one. Fatimah would often bring her two sons to see their grandfather who was exceedingly fond of them. Later he would take them to the Mosque and they would climb onto his back when he prostrated. He did the same with his little granddaughter Umamah, the daughter of Zaynab.

In the eighth year after the Hijrah, Fatimah gave birth to a third child, a girl whom she named after her eldest sister Zaynab who had died shortly before her birth. This Zaynab was to grow up and become famous as the "Heroine of Karbala". Fatimah's fourth child was born in the year after the Hijrah. The child was also a girl and Fatimah named her Umm Kulthum after her sister who had died the year before after an illness.

It was only through Fatimah that the progeny of the Prophet was perpetuated. All the Prophet's male children had died in their infancy and the two children of Zaynab named Ali and Umamah died young. Ruqayyah's child Abdullah also died when he was not yet two years old. This is an added reason for the reverence which is accorded to Fatimah.

Although Fatimah was so often busy with pregnancies and giving birth and rearing children, she took as much part as she could in the affairs of the growing Muslim community of Madinah. Before her marriage, she acted as a sort of hostess to the poor and destitute Ahl as-Suffah. As soon as the Battle of Uhud was over, she went with other women to the battlefield and wept over the dead martyrs and took time to dress her father's wounds. At the Battle of the Ditch, she played a major supportive role together with other women in preparing food during the long and difficult siege. In her camp, she led the Muslim women in prayer and on that place there stands a mosque named Masjid Fatimah, one of seven mosques where the Muslims stood guard and performed their devotions.

Fatimah also accompanied the Prophet when he made Umrah in the sixth year after the Hijrah after the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah. In the following year, she and her sister Umm Kulthum, were among the mighty throng of Muslims who took part with the Prophet in the liberation of Makkah. It is said that on this occasion, both Fatimah and Umm Kulthum visited the home of their mother Khadijah and recalled memories of their childhood and memories of jihad, of long struggles in the early years of the Prophet's mission.

In Ramadan of the tenth year just before he went on his Farewell Pilgrimage, the Prophet confided to Fatimah, as a secret not yet to be told to others:

"Jibril recited the Quran to me and I to him once every year, but this year he has recited it with me twice. I cannot but think that my time has come."

On his return from the Farewell Pilgrimage, the Prophet did become seriously ill. His final days were spent in the apartment of his wife Aishah. When Fatimah came to visit him, Aishah would leave father and daughter together.

One day he summoned Fatimah. When she came, he kissed her and whispered some words in her ear. She wept. Then again he whispered in her ear and she smiled. Aishah saw and asked:

"You cry and you laugh at the same time, Fatimah? What did the Messenger of God say to you?" Fatimah replied:

"He first told me that he would meet his Lord after a short while and so I cried. Then he said to me: 'Don't cry for you will be the first of my household to join me.' So I laughed."

Not long afterwards the noble Prophet passed away. Fatimah was grief-striken and she would often be seen weeping profusely. One of the companions noted that he did not see Fatimah, may God be pleased with her, laugh after the death of her father.

One morning, early in the month of Ramadan, just less than five month after her noble father had passed away, Fatimah woke up looking unusually happy and full of mirth. In the afternoon of that day, it is said that she called Salma bint Umays who was looking after her. She asked for some water and had a bath. She then put on new clothes and perfumed herself. She then asked Salma to put her bed in the courtyard of the house. With her face looking to the heavens above, she asked for her husband Ali.

He was taken aback when he saw her lying in the middle of the courtyard and asked her what was wrong. She smiled and said: "I have an appointment today with the Messenger of God."

Ali cried and she tried to console him. She told him to look after their sons al-Hasan and al-Husayn and advised that she should be buried without ceremony. She gazed upwards again, then closed her eyes and surrendered her soul to the Mighty Creator.

Fatimah, was just twenty nine years old.

Source Lessons from Sahabiyat

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Deepak Chopra's 'Muhammad: A Story of the Last Prophet' - Review by Dalia Mogahed

It was befitting that I began reading Deepak Chopra's fictionalized account of the life of the Prophet Muhammad after dawn prayer during the last precious days of Ramadan. Starting with the Author's Note, I was engrossed. I found beloved figures from my history come to life through the eyes of an outside observer, all the more compelling for me as a believer. His approach is as engaging as it is informative and deeply humanizing. The first-person narratives each paint a new layer onto the picture of the Beloved of God, in all his humanity and complexity and perfection.

I appreciated how Chopra deals with the issues toward which he may feel ambivalence, most notably the call for jihad and the execution of the men found guilty of conspiracy and treason among Banu Quraidha. He reports and allows each side a chance to be heard, silently allowing their voice, not his judgment, to speak.

The stories of the Most Beloved are riveting, capturing his many dimensions: the orphaned child, the young businessman, the loving husband and father, the seeker of truth, the self doubter, the believer, the Prophet, the oppressed, the Statesman and Commander-in-Chief, the transformer of the world for all time

all familiar but with the touch of an outside observer's fresh eyes and creativity.

I was often moved to tears and felt that reading the manuscript was a spiritual experience. Chopra captures the Messenger's sweetness and his strength. I love the Prophet with all my soul, and I saw a glimpse of his beauty in Chopra's writing. Among the most striking themes of the book is that of redemption and return to who we really are, seekers of truth, needers of God. I think this, my favorite line, captures the essence of the story: "He appeals to me most because he remade the world by going inward. That's the kind of achievement only available on the spiritual path." How simple and profound a truth.

Though some Muslims may be uneasy about this, I very much appreciated Deepak's gentle treatment of doubt within the community. I don't mean the hypocrites, but the doubt of the believers, their questions, their disagreements even with the decisions and opinion of the Prophet. Their struggles and uneasiness were evidence, paradoxically, of the utmost strength of their faith. This was a community of individuals -- his "companions," as he lovingly and respectfully called them -- not his disciples or yes-men. This was proof not of a weak and fractured community but of unbreakable enduring bonds of faith. They were also, like their leader, men among men. I wonder if it is Islam's raw and unapologetic embrace of humans as we really are, not a fairy tale ideal of who we are, that makes some who treat all doubt as ruin, and all flesh as sin, so uncomfortable?

I appreciated that Chopra allows some of the many women who surrounded the Prophet as friends, advisors and family members to be heard on their own terms. His women companions included the sophisticated elegance of Khadijah and the warm simplicity of Halimah. The rich and the poor alike made up Muhammad's inner circle, all showing another dimension of his character and beauty.

It is important, however, to understand the book properly. It is a novel and therefore not an attempt at an exact account of history. Muslims scholars have an incredibly well developed science of authentication when it comes to what the Prophet said and did. Scholars scrutinize books about the life of the Prophet in a way that would make our modern academic standards for fact-checking and references look horribly sloppy. It is very important that this book not be seen as attempting to meet this standard. It is not a book recounting Muhammad's life, but a beautiful story inspired by it. There is editorial license and creativity, and while many of the words and events have been recorded in authentic sources, many have not.

If I could suggest one change, it would be the timeline. Chopra's portrayal of the trial and execution of the Jewish tribe is fair, allowing both those who hated and those who loved Muhammad to describe it. However, by calling it a "massacre" in the timeline, he seems to depart from his consistent methodology of presenting and not prejudging. Whether the event is a massacre is, I believe, a judgment best left for the reader to make. Those executed on that day were given a trial by an arbitrator that they agreed was fair and impartial. It was not the Prophet's decision.

They were found guilty of treachery and giving aid to the enemy -- crimes met by similar punishments in modern democracies, for offenses that those punished did not deny. At least one of the Banu Quraidha came to the Prophet and said that he did not directly engage in the conspiracy with his brothers, and he was pardoned and lived the rest of his days as a Jew in Medina. It was not ethnic persecution but a punishment for a crime. Calling it an "execution," which is factually what it was, would be more consistent. Also, the timeline implies that all the Jews were driven out of Medina, which is also not true. There is a well documented case in which Omar, as Caliph, had a dispute with a Jew and Ali, the grand Jurist at the time, judged in the Jew's favor.

Finally, I admire the way stories are told to be true to the self-understanding of those who tell them. The one exception is the story of Haggar. Chopra seems to have formed a hybrid between the Muslim and Jewish versions of the story. Muslims do acknowledge that Sarah was unhappy with Haggar and Ismael's presence and could not help her jealousy and may have wanted them to go.

However, Ibraheem (Abraham), according to Islam's telling of the story, took them into the Arabian desert in obedience to God, not Sarah.

This distinction is of the utmost importance to Muslims.

This is why Muslims harbor no ill will toward Sarah and love her as they do our mother Haggar.

Sarah is a very popular and common name in Muslim communities. God ordered Ibraheem to take Haggar and Ismael to the desert. When he took them and was leaving, Haggar demanded from him, "To whom are you leaving us?" He did not answer. She then said, "Did your lord order you to do this?" Ibraheem replied, "Yes," to which she said with all the confidence of a woman of her level of faith, "Then go, He will not leave us." It was divine will that Haggar be brought to the desert to be the founder of the holiest place on earth. The difference is paramount.

I believe Deepak Chopra's novel about the Prophet does the world a great service. In the midst of escalating suspicion of Islam, the book humanizes the religion's leader for those who do not yet know him, a man adored by billions.

A version of this review appears in the Washington Post

What once was...

As the secrecy bill has been passed and we will now never know the truth as to what really goes on in government.

This is indeed the blackest of days yet in the New (but certainly not, necessarily better) South Africa.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Foul cry over Halaal uproar

Orion Meats’ Patrick Gaertner denied they sold pork and other meat as halaal.

Outraged Muslims turned up in their numbers at the Cape Town High Court yesterday, protesting and carrying posters expressing their anger over the possibility that Muslims may have consumed meat that is not halaal.

The Muslim community and the South African National Halaal Authority (Sanha) expressed their shock and anger outside the court yesterday. Sanha and the Red Meat Industry Forum of South Africa applied for an interim interdict yesterday.

The interdict asks that Orion Cold Storage be prevented from distributing meat.

This comes after allegations that the company imported pork, water buffalo and kangaroo meat and relabelled it as halaal beef.

The case could not resume yesterday as there was no judge available to hear the matter.

The case will resume today.

Moulena Mohamed Saeed Navlakhi from Sanha said yesterday: “We understand because this matter will need much attention.”

Outside the court protesters were carrying placards saying: “This case is no pignic”, “Kangaroo in court” and “To beef or not to beef”.

Abu-bakr Jacobs, 20, from Grassy Park, one of the pro
testors, said they were very shocked when they found out about the alleged relabelling.

“So this means that you do not know what you are putting into your mouth. It is really sad that this thing can happen in this day and age.

“As a Muslim it is only through eating Halaal meat that you will get the strength that you need.

“But we as Muslims should also make a concerted effort to find out if the meat your butcher or supermarket is selling is Halaal.

“We have accepted and taken it too much for granted that if the meat which contains the Halaal certificate, is indeed Halaal.

“People should also ask their butchers where they get their meat from,” Jacobs said.

Patrick Gaertner the managing director of Orion Cold Storage, again denied the allegations and said that they would defend their position.

“We have been blackmailed and sabotaged,” he said.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Point to Ponder

As Salaamu Alaikum w.w.

Nike, Adidas, Armani, Gucci, Polo, Swarovski, Rado, Seiko, Cartier, Gautier, Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal etc etc etc!

From top to toe, we arr all very happy to sport the latest designer wear, letting our bodies become advertisement boards for the various fashion houses – indeed – we pay “THEM” for the privilege of doing this for them!! Yet, we are not happy to sport any Islamic clothing on our person, least it should attract attention!

We are not happy to wear Kurta, Topi, Scarf, Niqab, Abaya or even grow a beard, least anyone queries us “why/what/how/who?”, yet, we are happy to tell all & sundry about our latest acquisition of the latest fashion range. Indeed, we regale them as to how many hours we had to queue up to get it!!

Why? We are so cowed by “secular” world view that we are unable to declare our love for our beloved Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Aasalam and Allah clearly & openly. We can wear our badges to show our support for other causes in full public view, but never can we wear our Islamic garb.

I am not suggesting that people change their dress code overnight or don’t support good causes – there is rules & regulations that we need to abide to, but apart from that, why are we not happy to declare our love for our Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wasalam and Allah? Do we keep a Masjid, Kabah or any thing Islamic on our desktop or screen saver? Ashwariya Rai & Katrina Kaif, is OK, but Islam is not!

Could this be a status thing, we wear d name to get d status but don’t realise there is no better status the been a Muslim & been proud of it. We rather be branded as a Tommy, Joe, Moe, Shabs, Amy instead of our Muslim names & promoting our Muslim identity, We, as Muslims, have become too scared to declare our faith / identity openly. We often do not declare ourselves “religious” – afraid to be branded as a “Terrorist”! It’s a great shame!

Sadly, a lot of these branded names mock your religion, some of the manufacturers (originators) of these designers are atheists, Satan worshippers, some of them have the devil or the cross on them etc etc. & we assist them by promoting the products. What’s more sad is that leave alone the skippers or the blouses now you get kurta’s & abaya’s with these branded names printed in large writing and we perform our prayers in these garbs. May Allah save me as well as all who receive this email and keep me on the straight path & give us all Heedayah. Aameen

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Islamic Perpective


Many times we hear of women who have given birth have to remain at home for 40 days. What is / was the significance behind this?

Does a women have to be indoors for 40 days after giving birth? There is no law that she has to remain indoors for a certain amount of days after giving birth, whether cesarean section or normal birth.

There is a superstition among people that after birth a woman has to remain indoors for forty days. This is not a law of Islam.

The forty day period is the maximum flow of blood after birth that a woman can experience, according to the Hanafi math-hab. Sometimes the blood can stop before forty days. Even during this period the woman is allowed to come out of the home.

Questions answered by the Ulama of askmufti.co.za

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

SABC documentary to focus on “South African Muslim Identity”

A documentary to be screened as part of SABC2′s ‘Issues of Faith’ series on Sunday, November 20th at 09h00, will investigate the changing face of Muslim identity within the South African landscape.

Written and directed by freelance journalist Fatima Asmal-Motala and producer Shaffee Shaik of New Wave Productions, ‘Muslim Identity’ investigates the impact of globalisation on young Muslims who are becoming increasingly exposed to a diversity of interpretations of Islam primarily due to the advent of technology.

‘Traditionally many Muslims, particularly those living in KZN and Gauteng, have been heavily influenced by Indo-Pak interpretations of Islam,’ says Asmal-Motala.

‘This is fast changing in a post-apartheid context, with many of them searching for a more contexualised interpretation.’

The documentary looks at how young Muslims view their identities and investigates several related issues including: Muslim bloggers, the increased participation of women in hijab in the public sphere, creative expression of identity and challenges faced by White and Black Muslims.

‘These issues are unpacked in the form of interviews with several well known South African personalities like Zain Bhikha, the author Shubnum Khan, women’s rights activist Quraysha Sooliman, blogger MJ Khan and several others,’ says Shaik.

The interviews are interspersed with scholarly perspectives from European intellectuals Tariq Ramadan and Anas Altikriti, as well as local Imam, Hafiz Fuzail Soofie.

‘Muslim Identity’ will be screened on SABC 2 at 9am on Sunday, November

Friday, November 11, 2011

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Please Be Aware

Eyewitness News has learnt a Cape Town-based frozen foods distributor has allegedly been importing pork products, kangaroo and water buffalo meat, and relabelling the products as beef and halaal.

It is also claimed that Orion Cold Storage is repackaging non-food grade milk powder for animal feed and is selling it as skim milk powder for human consumption.

The South African Meat Industry Company, the Red Meat Industry Forum and the South African National Halaal Authority Trust are set to go to the Cape High Court on Thursday to apply for an urgent interdict to prevent the company from altering information of products.

It is alleged that Orion imported pork hearts from Belgium and Ireland, relabelling and selling them as beef or sheep veal hearts, marked as halaal.

Undercover footage shows employees using heat guns to remove original labels and replacing them with halaal stickers.

It is unclear at this stage which items on shop shelves have been affected.

Orion has not responded to requests for comment.

Undecover Footage of how the company Oriental Cold Storage changed d packagng, http://www.ewn.co.za/MultimediaVideo.aspx?filename=111109halaal1ewn

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Picture Worth a thousand words...

Picture Worth a thousand words...

Hijab support group event titled "Branches Of Faith"

Who is a Muslim woman?

Ask a woman who bears witness

Ask a woman of substance

Ask a Muslim woman

Hijab Support Group in association with the Islamic Careline presents:

Branches of Faith

ناميالا نم ةبعش

As women, we have long been the living thread that binds the tapestry of our communities, and indeed our world, together. Our significance can never be doubted. Join us as we present a glimpse of the many abilities and strengths Islam encourages in its women. From self-awareness to style, poetry to positive reinforcement – come and get a dose of inspiration.

Hijab Support Group hosts this event to showcase the beauty, talent and intelligence of Muslim women.

Date: 19 November 2011

Venue: UJ Auditorium, Auckland Park

Time: 1.30pm – 5.00pm

Cost: R100.00

This symposium is open to women of ALL races, religions and social backgrounds.

HSG is a project of the Jamiatul Ulema JHB and Islamic Careline.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Why do Marriages fail

Why do Marriages fail?

Satan is the best destroyer of marriages and hates married couples the most. His best feast is when he manages to split a married couple. He causes doubts between them and make it seem that there is no way out of a particular situation. Satan is very much aware of peoples' weak spots, and so approaches them from these angles. People who listen to Satan's whisperings follow him instead of following Allah's commandments and live in fear and anxiety. Allah states that only one type of fear that will lead a person to the right path is the fear of Allah. The Qur'an proclaims that Allah, the Possessor of Infinite Knowledge, will give people the ability to distinguish between right and wrong if they fear Him. This is one of the most important characteristics for a person to have. Discerning people who have faith know the difference between right and wrong, and thus are not fooled by Satan's games.

Below are some suggestions to wives in light of Islam to maintain a happy married life:

Never Argue
Avoid arguments. An argument is a fire in the house. Extinguish it with a simple 'I'm sorry' even if it is not your fault. When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Below is a very good story which provides a beautiful example of tolerance and patience which is essential for any successful marriage.

A man and woman had been married for more than 50 years. They shared everything. and kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he never thought about the shoebox, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the shoebox.

When he opened it, he found two hand made dolls and a bag of money totalling $20,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and make a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the shoebox. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," the little old woman said, "That's the money I made from selling the dolls."

Be attentive to the comfort and wellbeing of your husband
A good Muslim wife should always be trustworthy and kind. She should strive to be cheerful and encouraging towards her husband and family, and keep their home free from anything haram (haram covers all aspects of harm, including bad behaviour, abuse and forbidden foods).

Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah. Always treat him the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success and if discarded then failure is just around the corner.

Be obedient
Regardless of her skills or intelligence, a wife should accept her man as the head of her household give him full respect and carry out his wishes with a clear conscience. She should take into consideration the needs and abilities of her husband and attempt to make him happy, even if she has to compromise sometimes. It is because men are given an extra degree of responsibility.

Allah says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means . . .” (Qur’an 4:34)

The purpose of obedience in the relationship is to keep the family unit running as smoothly as possible. The man has been given the right to be obeyed because he is the leader and not because he is superior. If a leader is not obeyed , his leadership will become invalid.

Be thankful and show appreciation
Appreciate and thank your husband for what he does for the family. Never make him feel that he is not doing good enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family. The Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wasallam) was reported to have said: ‘On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband.” Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does as this is one of the most important techniques and to be the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.

Be Careful of Your Words and maintain good relation with in-laws:
Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation. Maintain good relation with your in-laws especially his mother. Do not say anything bad about his family.

Be polite kind and patient and confess your Mistakes
Treat your husband like you would treat your best friend. With our best friends we try to be polite kind and patient. With our spouses we often do not show these courtesies. Good marriages require patience kindness sacrifice love understanding forgiveness and hard work. Moreover, consider the reward in the hereafter for those who show patience:

Allah says, “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full without reckoning (or measure).” (Qur’an 39:10)

When you make a mistake, admit it and when your husband commits a mistake, excuse him easily and if possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.

Be contended with what you have and lead an easy life:
Don’t be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The ‘rizq” is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life.

Have a sense of humour
Men seek women who are light-hearted and have a sense of humour. As Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh.

Pray to allah
Make dua’a to Allah for the well being of your husband and for your successful married life. By doing this daily you will notice increased love between you and your husband.

The Sunnah, according to the scholars of Hadeeth, is everything that has been related from the Messenger, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, of his statements, actions, tacit approvals,...




Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Be Happy

Happiness is a journey not a destination. If you wait until you arrive at a happy place, you are going to be sorely disappointed. Happiness comes from within and is a process of creating a foundation of gratitude and appreciation. When you are tapped into your inner happiness, it is easier to connect with the external things in life that add to your happiness. Things as simple as a sunset or finding 5c on the sidewalk can add to your sense of happiness.

Happiness comes from within and any happiness you gain externally is icing on the cake. The secret to happiness is to begin appreciating what you have. Most of us take for granted what we have and drive ourselves to depression, regret and frustration focusing on what we don't have. What you focus on expands, so if you want to be happier, begin appreciating what you already have in your life. Appreciation and gratitude increase happiness exponentially.

Happiness comes from within and is expanded by appreciating and being grateful for what you already have. Happiness is an inside job. Nothing on the outside will make you happy, although it might contribute to your happiness. If you choose not to be happy - and it is a choice - then nothing, no matter how wonderful it is, will make you happy.

Choose to be happy. Appreciate what you already have and be grateful in the moment and you will begin to drive yourself happy.

Are you ready for a drive to happiness?