Thursday, August 30, 2012

On Marriage

As I write this and reminisce about the our upcoming anniversary, this below is a gentle refresher about the things we may overlook... May the Almighty grant us many many more years together, Aameen 8 tips about what weakens the marriage 1) Misbehaving - saying bad or hateful things, making bad jokes and insulting each other. 2) Ignore - not replying back to the "salams" or giving each other the good ear to listen and share. 3) Lying - Allah forbids the believers to lie. There is no room in Islam for liars, and may Allah save us from this evil, ameen. 4) Breaking Promises - Keeping a trust is also an important characteristic of a believer. 5) Avoiding Contact - You hug the brothers at the mosque, but what about a "little hug" with your wife? Come on, you can do it. 6) Suspicion & Backbiting - Allah says, "O believers, avoid much suspicion. Certainly suspicion is sinful. And don't spy or backbite each other. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother. You would hate it. Fear Allah's punishment. For sure Allah is the Acceptor of repentance, The Merciful." [Quran 49: 12] 7) Too Busy - Take time for each other. You have rights on each other. Give everyone their rights and you will be given your rights. 8) Leaving the worship - Allah will never be pleased with someone who leaves His guidance and does not worship Him. This will cause Muslim families serious problems and even to split up, faster than anything. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8 Things Which Strengthen The Marriage IN SHA ALLAH: 1) Good Attitude - A Muslim must always have a positive attitude toward life. We say, "Al Hamdulillah" (Praise be to Allah) for whatever He gives us (or doesn't give us). 2) Help - Our prophet, peace be upon him, stressed the importance of men helping their wives and Allah tells us the importance of women being mates and helpers to their husbands. This is a real "win-win" situation, if we just follow it. 3) Trust - Muslims, men and women are ordered to be trustworthy and follow the example of our prophet, peace be upon him, as the "Trustworthy". 4) Respect - You get respect, when you give respect. This is mandatory for all Muslims toward all people, how much more toward the spouse? 5) Joy - Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to entertain his wife, Ayesha and she used to play and race with him. She said, "I used to out-run him, but then when I got heavy he used to outrun me". He told us to play with our wives. 6) Forgiveness - Clearly, this is one of the most important aspects of Islam. Whoever does not forgive - will not be forgiven. This comes from Allah, Himself. We must learn to forgive each other's mistakes so we won't it against us. 7) Time - Spend time, alone - together. Go for walks. Take a bus ride. Visit a friend or someone who is ill (you get big rewards for that). Fast together on Mondays & Thursdays if you can. Make hajj - this is a great way to get a "new start" on life. Trust me. 8) Worship - connection with Allah through ritual of prayer, petition and peace while moving together in the salat is something a non-Muslim can never really appreciate. Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to lead his wife in salat, even though he lived connected to the mosque. He told us not to make our homes like grave yards. We should offer some of our sunnah prayers at home. A sister gains the most rewards at home, in her room, behind a screen. Marriage talks by Mufti Menk: Part1 Part2 Part3

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