Allah before Emotions

Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was the daughter of Sayyiduna Abu Bakr Siddeeq (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) and the half-sister of Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha). Sayyiduna Abu Bakr (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) had divorced the mother of Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) during the pre-Islamic era, thereafter marrying Sayyidah Ummu Rumaan (radhiyallahu ‘anha) who later bore him Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha).

During the period of the treaty of Hudaibiyah, the mother of Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) came to Madeenah Munawwarah with her son, Haarith. Her name was Qutailah, and she had not accepted Islam. On arriving in Madeenah Munawwarah, she wished to visit her daughter, Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha). She had brought some gifts for her, and also wished to take some financial assistance from Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha).

As soon as Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) saw that her mother had come to visit her, she refused to accept her gifts and did not allow her into the home, since she had not accepted Islam – even though it had been more than six years since she had last met her mother!

Instead, she sent a message to her half-sister, Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), requesting her to convey the following question to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), “My mother has come to visit me, and she also wishes some financial assistance from me. What should I do? Should I maintain my relationship with her?” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) replied, “Yes, she should maintain her relationship with her mother. She should allow her into her home and she should accept the gifts as well.”

Only after securing the permission of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) did Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) allow her mother into her home, show her kindness and accept her gifts.

(Saheeh Bukhaari #2620, Fat-hul Baari vol. 5, pg. 292 and Tabaqaat Ibni Sa’d vol. 8, pg. 252)

Lessons:

1. The primary concern of the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) was securing the happiness of Allah Ta‘ala. Due to the mother of Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) not being a Muslim, she was unsure as to whether it was permissible for her to accept her gifts and allow her into the home. Hence, to ensure that she did not disobey Allah Ta‘ala, she immediately acquired guidance from Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). Similarly, we should ensure that we remain linked to the pious ‘Ulama (keeping within the parameters of sharee‘ah) so that we can seek guidance in all branches of life, thus always remaining in the happiness of Allah Ta‘ala.

2. The demand of imaan is that we put Allah Ta‘ala and Deen before our emotions. Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was obviously affected by the sight of her mother, especially after such a long period of separation. However, she placed her emotions aside and first ensured that she was pleasing Allah Ta‘ala. In this regard, the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) valued their relationship with Allah Ta‘ala more than their relationship with their own parents, children, etc.