The Value of Dua'a - 'Aaishah (RA)

The Value of Dua'a It was the habit of ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) that whenever a beggar asked her for something and made dua'a for her (as is the habit of many beggars), together with giving the beggar whatever he had asked for, she would also return the dua'a of the beggar. Hence someone once asked her, “Why do you give the beggar what he asks for and also make dua'a for him?” ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) responded, “If I give the beggar wealth and he gives me dua'a, then what he has given me is in reality more valuable than what I gave him. Hence, I will owe him for his favour. I therefore return his dua'a with a similar dua'a, so that I will not be indebted to him for his dua'a, and thereafter give him whatever he asks for. In this manner, I ensure that I receive the full reward of my sadaqah.” (Al-Mafaateeh fi Sharhil Masaabeeh vol. 2, pg. 553) Lessons: 1. The pious friends of Allah Ta‘ala understood the value of dua'a. Hence, they did not regard any person’s dua'a to be trivial or insignificant, as one does not know whose dua'a may gain acceptance in the court of Allah Ta‘ala. 2. Instead of viewing beggars as a nuisance, we should view them as a means of earning both dua'as and the pleasure of Allah Ta‘ala. We should thank Allah Ta‘ala for sending the beggar to us, instead of us having to go out in search of a person to whom we could give sadaqah.  May Allah grant us true understanding of the supplication of Dua'a, Aameen

Pious women

As Salaamu Alaikum Dear Read,

I came across these articles and found valuable lessons therein.

http://uswatulmuslimah.co.za/articles/pious-women.html

Take time to read and gain some valuable insight into the ideal life of a Muslimah.

May Allah allow us to emulate these pious ladies, Aameen

A Wife’s Rights- Education is key

A Wife’s Rights

·         It is incumbent on the husband to provide separate living quarters for his wife.

·      The quarters provided for her should not be occupied by any members of the husband’s family. She must be able to enjoy total privacy without interference from anyone.

·         If the wife of her own accord prefers to live with her in-laws, then this will be permissible.

·         Separate quarters for her may be provided in the same building or house occupied by others. However, she must be able to have complete control over her quarters with no one else having the right to intrude in her domain. The lock/keys of her quarters should be in her possession.

·       The wife’s in-laws have no right of demanding to enter her quarters and to inspect her rooms and belongings as is the habit of some misguided mothers-in-law.

·        While the wife is entitled to separate living quarters, she cannot demand that she wants to live in a particular house, area or town. She has to be satisfied with the quarters made available to her by her husband.

·       Just as the wife has the right of preventing her in-laws from intruding into her home, so too has the husband the right of debarring his in-laws from entering the home.

Generally husbands fail in fulfilling the important and incumbent rights of the wife in regard to separate accommodation. In most cases they are under pressure from their parents who insist on their married children living together with them under one roof and in the same house over which the parents have full control while the daughter-in-law has to live in subservience to her in-laws. This is Islamically an unjust and unlawful setup.

Parents of the husband should realize that in this unjust attitude they are usurping the rights of their daughter-in-law – rights which the Shariah has granted her. While it is to the advantage of the in-laws and perhaps to the husband as well to live together, they have no right to act selfishly for their own advantage when the matter concerns the rights of others. A daughter-in-law is under no Islamic incumbency to serve her in-laws. It is entirely another matter if she does. In doing so she will obtain great Thawaab. But, service to in-laws cannot be imposed on her, neither by her in-laws nor by her husband. This Mas-alah should be well understood.

Many mothers-in-law are the cause of misery for their daughters-in-law. They apply unlawful and inconsiderate pressure on their sons in an attempt to secure the domination of their daughters-in-law. This attitude leads to conflict, misery and sometimes homes break up. If the rights of the wife are considered from the very inception many marital problems will be avoided.

Parents-in-law should reflect that after marriage when a woman no longer serves even her own parents, how can she be expected to serve her parents-in-law? If she does, it will be only her goodness and a demonstration of her love for her husband.

Many sons are in a quandary when it comes to a conflict in the demands of parents on the one side and their wives on the other. The wife wishes to live separately while her in-laws insist that she lives with them. In such cases of conflict, the son should measure the conflicting demands on the standard of the shariah. If by fulfilling the wishes of parents the son is compelled to violate or discard the waajib haq of his wife, then it will not be permissible for him to obey his parents in this respect. While others can advise the daughter-in-law to exercise patience and submit to the wishes of her husband provided that the Shariah is not transgressed, the usurpers of her rights cannot tender such naseehat to her. They have to rather take stock of their own transgression and their injustice committed against their daughter-in-law. On the Day of Qiyaamah the daughter-in-law will have a claim against her husband and her parents-in-law for the violation of her rights – rights which Allah Ta’ala has ordained for her.

 

Website:www.uucsa.yolasite.com

 

 

 

 

Aashuraa and Children

Rubayyi’ bintu Mu‘awwiz bin ‘Afraa’ (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) mentions that Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) sent the following message to the various localities of the Ansaar on the morning of ‘Aashuraa, “Whoever began the day fasting should complete his fast, and whoever is not fasting should complete the day without eating.” Rubayyi’ (radhiyallahu ‘anha) further says, “After that (the announcement) we would ensure that we fasted on the day of ‘Aashuraa (in the years that followed) and would even make our small children fast. We would make toys out of wool for them. When one of them would cry for food, we would give him the toy to distract him until iftaar.” (Saheeh Bukhaari #1960)

A mother wishing to wean her child doesn’t introduce him to a diet of 100% solids overnight. She understands that the child’s digestive system will not cope with such a sudden, drastic change and therefore makes small, gradual adjustments to the diet. Similarly, when a child becomes mature (reaches the age of puberty), it is now obligatory for him to perform the 5 daily salaah, fast in the month of Ramadhaan, etc. If these obligatory ‘ibaadaat are introduced to the child all at once, he may find it difficult to make an “overnight” change. Therefore the Sahaabiyyaat (radhiyallahu ‘anhunna) would begin training their children to perform ‘ibaadaat long before they reached the age of puberty. In this way, they ensured that their children were not only accustomed to all the ‘ibaadaat but that the ‘ibaadaat were actually a second nature to them. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) himself has taught us to train our children in this manner. He instructs us to make our children perform salaah at the age of 7 and to punish them for not performing salaah when they reach the age of 10 – emphasizing the importance of giving the child the correct training early in life. (Abu Dawood #494)

When a tree is a young sapling, it is easy to guide it and ensure that it grows straight. If left without guidance, however, it will grow crooked and become set in its crookedness. To adequately train the child for the duties he will face later on in life is actually kindness to the child – not cruelty. If we do not inculcate the Islamic way of behaving, dressing and speaking and the habit of ‘ibaadat into our children from a young age, thinking that they are “still too small”, what will we do when they are suddenly “too big” to heed our “too-late” guidance?

Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) recommendad that one fasts on the day of Aashuraa and coupling this with either the day before or a day after Aashuraa.

Day of Aashuraa 12^th of October 2016 / 10^th Muharram 1438

Paying One's Debt

*How I Paid My Debt Of 146 Qadha Fast*


All Praise is for our Beloved ALLAH TA’ALA, our Creator and Sustainer, to whom we will return one day, to whom knowledge and wisdom belongs. Beautiful Salutations and Blessings, eternally to the Prince of mankind Muhammad (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) who has left behind a legacy to follow; who has left us the Keys to the treasures of Jannah.

“That Day will every soul be requited for what it earned; no injustice will there be that Day ALLAH is Swift in taking account.” [Surah 40:17]

We have no choice in this life but to strive towards the right path and to do good Deeds – acts of worship and other acts – by whatever means one can, putting all trust in ALLAH TA’ALA, submitting to HIS will, and believing that we are always in need of ALLAH’S help, mercy, forgiveness and support.

Ramadhaan being an auspicious month with it’s merits and gifts gave me an opening four years ago on fulfilling my debt to ALLAH TA’ALA. It began after the recital of the noble Qur’aan Sharief an Aayat in the most moving and eloquent terms that really touched my heart.

And you will see every nation bowing the knee: Every nation will be called to it’s record: This Day shall you be recompensed for all that you did.

Then, as to those who believed and did righteous Deeds, their Lord will admit them to HIS Mercy that will be the achievement for all to see. [Surah 45: 27-29]

Tears welled up in my eyes uncontrollably. How do I present myself in the court of ALLAH TA’ALA with qadha fast that has been accumulating year after year due to my negligence? It was time to take full responsibility. After calculating for each year an estimation of 146 fast was to be kept. I felt ashamed and an unworthy servant of ALLAH TA’ALA.

It so important to fulfil the Faraa’idh in Islaam. When these duties are not fufilled then this becomes a debt to ALLAH TA’ALA. With firm intention, Du’as and determination I decided to start after Ramadhaan. Being full time at home I had to strike a balance between my daily routine and that of keeping my fast.

Al-Hamdulillah! By the Grace of Almighty ALLAH I started by keeping 14 fast each month. It was difficult at first but having that Tawwakul in ALLAH TA’ALA and the support of a beautiful soul “my mother” I knew I could do it and this will be my journey to salvation. And Subhaan-ALLAH it became smooth sailing.

My days progressed in abundant Istighfaar, Dhikr, recital of the Qur’aan Sharief… My love for Deen and knowledge increased. Al-Hamdulillah! I was bestowed a subtle contentment something I had never experienced before. In the scorching hot days of summer I practiced patience and tolerance. Just to realize when you choose to do something for the Pleasure of ALLAH TA’ALA, HE steers your life in a new direction with guidance, ALLAHU AKBAR!

I completed my entire fast in 10 months and six days. Each month had it’s own story to be told with new challenges, struggles, difficulties, beautiful changes and the ability to make Sabr. And to express my deep heart-felt gratitude to ALLAH TA’ALA. The best way I could thank my Loving ALLAH, I donned the full hijab with honour, dignity and respect.

From this experience I have learnt life for a Muslimah is not to be spent in worldly pursuits; life is an important mission in which every believer must take the responsibility of living in such a way that she will be a true and sincere worshipper of ALLAH TA’ALA. This can only be achieved by checking one’s intention, in all one’s Deeds, to ensure that they are done for the sake of ALLAH TA’ALA and to please HIM.

ALLAH TA’ALA, the Exalted says: “Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has faith, verily, to him will We give a new life, and life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.” [Surah 16:97]

Al-Hamdulillah! Today, I try in a small way to inspire others to achieve what I have achieved because I believe that taking one step towards ALLAH TA’ALA, ALLAH TA’ALA takes ninety nine steps towards you, Subhaan-ALLAH. Let us make our lives the Qur’aan, and the Qur’aan our lives, all encompassing, fully encapsulating, with a reward evident in this world and in the Hereafter. In’Shaa’ALLAH!

Beloved Sisters! If you have any qadha fast don’t let it accumulate make the effort of keeping them. Fear ALLAH TA’ALA and be conscious of HIS watching. Today, there is a chance to work without reckoning. But, tomorrow, there is reckoning, and no chance to perform any Deeds.

May ALLAH TA’ALA guide us all on the true and straight path and eliminate from our hearts the love for this World and replace it with the love of HIS Deen and HIS beloved Messenger (SAW)

Mothers' of the Nation

Farewell Hajj

The Farewell Hajj of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam ~ Moulana Naeem Motala Saheb DB     الْيَوْمَ أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِي وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ الْإِسْلَامَ دِينًا This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed My favor upon you and have approved for you Islam as religion ~ Surah Mai'dah 5:3 ... The Farewell Hajj of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam DOWNLOAD > PART 1 DOWNLOAD > PART 2 DOWNLOAD > PART 3 DOWNLOAD > Farewell Sermon by Moulana Naeem Motala Saheb DB ------------   Comment

I wonder...

If Kisra, the ruler of Persia spent the night sleeping in YOUR bed, what would he think of his own royal bed?

Would Caesar be proud of his luxurious life; reclining on a couch and fanned by his servants if he knew that my living room has a more comfortable reclining chair and an A/C unit that can make it feel like an igloo even in a Texan summer?

Would Qaroon strut arrogantly about the keys to his wealth that needed strong men to carry, if he knew that the keys to my wealth are carried in plastic cards in my wallet.

In the land of Mesopotamia so mesmerized by their chariots, what would they think if they saw our vehicles?

If the people of Baghdad and Cordoba, who used to pride themselves at the vastness of the collection of their libraries, saw the amount of books that can be carried by a college student on their USB drive, how would they feel?

If the kings who used to pride themselves on the quickness of their messengers and carriers were introduced to email, text messages and whatsapp, what would they think of how we were living?

My brothers and sisters, we live today better than many of the kings and royals of the past, but we can’t see it! We only have eyes for what others have, remember every time your eyes wander wide, your heart constricts!

When you are grateful to Allah and do what He asks of you, He will give you much more than what you ask of Him.

Action Item: Sit down & close your eyes for 5 mins today and remember all the Blessings of Allah in your life. You will feel really happy & all your worries will go away. Allah willing, Insha Allah.

My Child’s Comfort

Sayyidah Zainab (radhiyallahu ‘anha), the beloved daughter of Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), passed away in the eighth year after Hijrah. Anas (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) mentions, “When Zainab (radhiyallahu ‘anha) passed away, we emerged with Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) (to attend to her burial) and saw that he (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) was extremely grieved and sad. (Such was his grief) that we did not speak to him until we arrived at the grave. When we reached the grave, we found that it was still being dug. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) therefore sat for some time, speaking to himself and glancing at the sky, while we sat around him. When the grave was ready, Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) descended into it and I saw his grief intensify.   When he had completed burying her and emerged from the grave, his blessed face was radiating relief and happiness. We therefore asked, ‘O Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! We saw the extent of your grief and hence were unable to even speak to you. We thereafter saw that you were suddenly very happy. What was the matter?’ He (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, ‘I had remembered the narrowness and grief of the grave and I thought about Zainab and her weakness. This thought grieved me. I therefore made du‘aa to Allah Ta‘ala to grant her ease from the constraints and grief of the grave. Allah Ta‘ala accepted my du‘aa and granted her ease’.” (Majma’uz Zawaa’id, vol. 3, pg. 166)   We are generally concerned and ensure that our children are not only comfortable in this worldly life, but that they enjoy the very best that we can provide. More important than this, however, is that we show concern and do our utmost to ensure that they are comfortable in the grave. The grave is the first stage in the journey to the Hereafter. If our children are successful and comfortable in this stage, they will most likely be successful in the stages to come.

The Debt that can Never be Repaid

‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) was once performing tawaaf when he saw a man from Yemen who was carrying his mother on his back in tawaaf. As the man carried her, he was uttering the following words of poetry: I am her subservient camel Although her conveyance may frighten and worry her, I will never cause her concern Though I am carrying her (on my back), the period for which she carried me (in her womb) was longer The man thereafter turned to Ibnu ‘Umar (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) and asked, “Have I fulfilled the right of my mother (by carrying her in tawaaf)?” Ibnu ‘Umar (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) replied, “No! In fact, you have not even repaid her for one gasp she emitted (due to the pain of labor).” (Shu‘abul Imaan #7550) The son of Husain (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), ‘Ali bin Husain (rahimahullah), who was also known as Zainul ‘Aabideen (rahimahullah), was once asked, “You are a person who always ensures that he is obedient to his parents. Why is it that you then refrain from eating out of one utensil with your mother?” Zainul ‘Aabideen (rahimahullah) replied, “I fear that my hand will reach for a morsel of food whereas my mother’s gaze may have fallen on it and she may have wished it for herself. If I have to take a morsel which my mother wished for herself, I will be regarded as a disobedient son.” (‘Uyoonul Akhbaar vol. 3 pg. 97)        Lessons: 1. When the kindness and favor of the mother is such that it can never be repaid, then how shameless indeed is the person who causes his mother inconvenience! 2. Inconvenience to mothers can be caused in many ways; physical, mental, emotional, etc. The pious people of the past would exercise such caution in this regard, that they refrained from any action that could, in even the slightest manner, cause their parents disappointment. 3. When we are unable to repay our parents for their kindness, we should never ever make them feel that our service to them in their old age is a burden and a favor to them. Rather, always make them feel as if you are honored to have the chance to serve them.

The Debt that can Never be Repaid

‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) was once performing tawaaf when he saw a man from Yemen who was carrying his mother on his back in tawaaf. As the man carried her, he was uttering the following words of poetry: I am her subservient camel Although her conveyance may frighten and worry her, I will never cause her concern Though I am carrying her (on my back), the period for which she carried me (in her womb) was longer The man thereafter turned to Ibnu ‘Umar (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) and asked, “Have I fulfilled the right of my mother (by carrying her in tawaaf)?” Ibnu ‘Umar (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) replied, “No! In fact, you have not even repaid her for one gasp she emitted (due to the pain of labor).” (Shu‘abul Imaan #7550) The son of Husain (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), ‘Ali bin Husain (rahimahullah), who was also known as Zainul ‘Aabideen (rahimahullah), was once asked, “You are a person who always ensures that he is obedient to his parents. Why is it that you then refrain from eating out of one utensil with your mother?” Zainul ‘Aabideen (rahimahullah) replied, “I fear that my hand will reach for a morsel of food whereas my mother’s gaze may have fallen on it and she may have wished it for herself. If I have to take a morsel which my mother wished for herself, I will be regarded as a disobedient son.” (‘Uyoonul Akhbaar vol. 3 pg. 97)        Lessons: 1. When the kindness and favor of the mother is such that it can never be repaid, then how shameless indeed is the person who causes his mother inconvenience! 2. Inconvenience to mothers can be caused in many ways; physical, mental, emotional, etc. The pious people of the past would exercise such caution in this regard, that they refrained from any action that could, in even the slightest manner, cause their parents disappointment. 3. When we are unable to repay our parents for their kindness, we should never ever make them feel that our service to them in their old age is a burden and a favor to them. Rather, always make them feel as if you are honored to have the chance to serve them.

Do we owe it?

Do we owe it?

One day, a very wealthy man was walking on the road. Along the way, he saw a beggar on the sidewalk. The rich man looked kindly at the beggar and asked him why he was begging. The beggar said, "Sir, I've been unemployed for a year now. You look like a rich man. Sir, if you'll give me a job, I'll stop begging."

The rich man smiled and said, "I want to help you. But I won't give you a job. I'll do something better. I want you to be my business partner. Let's start a business together. The beggar blinked hard.

 

"What do you mean, Sir? "I own a rice plantation. You could sell my rice in the market. I'll provide you the sacks of rice. I'll pay the rent for the market stall. All you'll have to do is sell my rice. And at the end of the month, as Business Partners, we'll share in the profits. Tears of joy rolled down his cheeks.

Do I keep 5% and you get 95%? I'll be happy with any arrangement. The rich man shook his head and chuckled."No, I want you to give me the 2.5%. And you keep the 97.5%. For a moment, the beggar couldn't speak. He couldn't believe his ears. The deal was too good to be true. I want you to give me 2.5% of your profits so you grow"

The beggar now dressed a little bit better, operated a store selling rice in the market. He worked very hard. He woke up early in the morning and slept late at night and sales were brisk, also because the rice was of good quality.

 

After 30 days, the profits were astounding! At the end of the month, as the ex-beggar was counting the money. He told himself, Gee, why should I give 2.5% to my Business Partner? I didn't see him the whole month! I was the one who was working day and night for this business. I did all the work. I deserve 100% of the profits.

The rich man came to collect his 2.5% of the profits. The ex-beggar said, "You don't deserve the 2.5%. I worked hard for this. I deserve all of it!"

If you were his Business Partner, how would you feel?

This is exactly what happens to us!!!  ALLAH is Our Business Partner…

ALLAH gave us life, every single breath.

ALLAH gave us talents, ability to talk, to create, to earn money

ALLAH gave us a body, eyes, ears, mouth, hands, feet, a heart

ALLAH gave us a mind, imagination, emotions, reasoning, language

In fact…ALLAH gave us EVRYTHING INDEED! 

So…in giving 2.5% Zakaat  (alms/charity) is not only an important pillar of Islam but also an expression of gratitude and love  for Allah Ta’ala. May Allah make us from those that pay their Zakaat, Aameen!

Ibn Battuta

Also known as Shams ad - Din, was born at Tangier, Morocco, on the 24th February 1304 C.E. (703 Hijra). He left Tangier on Thursday, 14th June, 1325 C.E. (2nd Rajab 725 A.H.), when he was twenty one years of age. His travels lasted for about thirty years, after which he returned to Fez , Morocco at the court of Sultan Abu 'Inan and dictated accounts of his journeys to Ibn Juzay. These are known as the famous Travels (Rihala) of Ibn Battuta. He died at Fez in 1369 C.E.

Ibn Battuta was the only medieval traveller who is known to have visited the lands of every Muslim ruler of his time. He also travelled in Ceylon (present Sri Lanka), China and Byzantium and South Russia. The mere extent of his travels is estimated at no less than 75,000 miles, a figure which is not likely to have been surpassed before the age of steam.

Travels
In the course of his first journey, Ibn Battuta travelled through Algiers, Tunis, Egypt, Palestine and Syria to Makkah. After visiting Iraq, Shiraz and Mesopotamia he once more returned to perform the Hajj at Makkah and remained there for three years. Then travelling to Jeddah he went to Yemen by sea, visited Aden and set sail for Mombasa, East Africa. After going up to Kulwa he came back to Oman and repeated pilgrimage to Makkah in 1332 C.E. via Hormuz, Siraf Bahrain and Yamama. Subsequently he set out with the purpose of going to India, but on reaching Jeddah, he appears to have changed his mind (due perhaps to the unavailability of a ship bound for India), and revisited Cairo, Palestine and Syria, thereafter arriving at Aleya (Asia Minor) by sea and travelled across Anatolia and Sinope. He then crossed the Black Sea and after long wanderings he reached Constantinople through Southern Ukraine.

On his return to Fez, Ibn Battuta dictated the accounts of his travels to Ibn Juzay al-Kalbi (1321-1356 C.E.) at the court of Sultan Abu Inan (1348-1358 C.E). Ibn Juzay took three months to accomplish this work, which he finished on 9th December 1355 C.E.

Writings
In order to experience the flavour of Ibn Battuta's narrative one must sample a few extracts. The following passage illustrates the system of social security in operation in the Muslim world in the early 14th century C.E.: "The variety and expenditure of the religious endowments at Damascus are beyond computation. There are endowments in aid of persons who cannot undertake the pilgrimage to Makkah, out of which ate paid the expenses of those who go in their stead. There are other endowments for supplying wedding outfits to girls whose families are unable to provide them and others for the freeing of prisoners. There are endowments for travellers, out of the revenues of which they are given food, clothing, and the expenses of conveyance to their countries. Then there are endowments for the improvement and paving of the streets, because all the lanes in Damascus have pavements on either side, on which the foot passengers walk, while those who ride use the roadway in the centre". p.69, ref l

Ibn Battuta - The Forgotten Traveller
Ibn Battuta's sea voyages and references to shipping reveal that the Muslims completely dominated the maritime activity of the Red Sea, the Arabian Sea, the Indian Ocean , and the Chinese waters. Also it is seen that though the Christian traders were subject to certain restrictions, most of the economic negotiations were transacted on the basis of equality and mutual respect.

One can understand why these great Muslims are ignored by the West. But the indifference of the Muslim governments is incomprehensible. In order to combat the inferiority complex that plagues the Muslim Ummah, we must rediscover the contributions of Muslims in fields such as science, medicine, engineering, architecture and astronomy. This will encourage contemporary young Muslims to strive in these fields and not think that major success is beyond their reach.

Failing our Sons

Failing Our Sons

 ...While we spend so much time teaching our daughters how to be good wives, no one takes the time to teach our sons how to be good husbands.
We rarely say to them, “When you see your wife frustrated, don’t just leave the room to avoid her; try to comfort her, even if you think her reasons for being angry are unjustified.” No one says, “If you pull yourself off the couch to get a snack or something to drink, offer to get her the  same.” No one says, “Sometimes she just needs you to be there… really be there.” No one says, “There are a million ways to show her you care, and even though it will take some effort to find which she likes best, you do have to do it.”No one teaches them the importance of fulfilling their wives sexually. No one says any of that.

 Why are we always teaching our daughters how to be wives when we almost never teach our sons how to be husbands? Why do we not give our daughters this same courtesy? The sad truth is, no one cares. No one cares what kind of husband he will be; shy of physical abuse (and even then, sometimes they still don’t seem too concerned), he can be the worst husband in the world, but it’s up to his wife to suck it up and provide him with a happy home no matter how unhappy his careless  treatment makes her. The bottom line of this double standard is that we give husbands the right to be neglectful, and then when the marriage falls apart, the wife is blamed for being unable to keep it together.

If we care about the wellbeing of our daughters and of the Ummah overall, we must spend more time advising our sons that their role in the home plays a significant part in its atmosphere. We must explain to them repeatedly that their responsibilities go far beyond just the financial aspect. We must ingrain in them – just as we do to our daughters – their spiritual and emotional duties as a spouse. Studies show that children whose mothers are happy are themselves better adjusted and happier, leading to increased
happiness in adulthood as well. But where does that wife’s happiness come from? If her husband neglects her, caring only about his own satisfaction, whether that be emotionally or intimately, there is no way she will be able to find happiness. If he expects her to carry the full load of child-rearing and act as though he is not responsible, this, too, will have a negative effect on her, and consequently, on the entire household.
If, however, we teach our sons how to communicate with their wives – complement her on how she looks, express pride about a professional accomplishment she has achieved, show appreciation for the warm cooked meals she provides, embrace her when she’s sad or frustrated, talk to her about things which are occupying your attention, spend time with her where you are fully present, etc. – then we give them the communication skills which are essential in making their marriage successful.

By putting as much effort into teaching our sons how to be good husbands as we do to teaching our daughters how to be good wives, I have no doubt that divorce rates would decrease and there would be a sharp increase in the overall happiness in our homes. Many people are familiar with the hadith in
which ‘Aishah (RA) states that Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) “used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.”

We must emphasise this in our homes, to our sons, and encourage them to emulate Rasool Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) in all his actions, including his treatment to his family. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that we should not teach our daughters, nor am I saying that we should not advise each other about how to improve ourselves as wives. Not at all. We must teach our daughters and continue to advise each
other because marriage takes work. All I’m saying is that we need to make certain that our sons understand that marriage takes work from both parties. They must learn early on that just because women are more inclined to give in a relationship does not absolve men from giving; wives have desires and emotional needs for which their husbands are responsible. But the true  advantage of being a husband is that the more he gives, the more he’ll get back. The happier he makes his wife, the more eager she will be to please him.

Marriage is very much a positive feedback system; while both members give, the system produces more love and happiness. If one member slacks for a while, the system will continue to run, but only for a limited time. If either member doesn’t exert the required energy for extended periods of time, the system will fail.
Honestly, it’s that simple.

May Allah bless our Nikkah's with love, understanding, grant us mery and be garments unto each other, Aameen

A'ishah (radhiAllahu 'anha)

Totally mind-blown to discover that A'ishah (radhiAllahu 'anha) had her own tafseer - in fact, one of the first written tafaseer to exist. 

 Apparently, "A'ishah's mus'haf" was well-known and she had a scribe copy out her manuscript, which contained the ayaat of the Qur'an and her commentary on them. Her tafseer was even more detailed than that of Abdullah ibn Abbas.

In addition, the majority of her students were strong and pious individuals, and it's rare to find fabricated a...hadith attributed to her - whereas many fabricated ahadith are attributed to Abdullah ibn Abbas (radhiAllahu 'anhu).

Note: There are various reasons for which A'ishah's original manuscript may not be available to us today. However, one scholar by the name of Sa'ud ibn Abdullah al-Funaysaan collected all her ahadith regarding tafseer of ayaat o the Qur'an in various books of ahadith, and put together his own book which he titled Marwiyyaat Umm al-Mu’mineen A’ishah fitTafseer.
‪#‎HistoryOfFemaleScholarship

Marriage - One Amazing Journey...

Marriage - One Amazing Journey...

The fuel for the first half of the journey is love while the fuel for the second half of the journey is mercy.

Marriage initially takes off as a beautiful, novel experience in which you enjoy the thrills and frills.

Marriage...

 

Oh Allah bless our marriage and keep us guided on the straight path, Aameen!

 

With age, the couple turn over to a new page called “old age” which is certainly not some cold cage. Rather, it is a stage where a sage will wage no rage.

A true couple will happily and carefully work around moments of pain and agony. With patience and intelligence, they will learn to give and forgive, let and forget.

It is only natural to one day grow old, for the hair to become grey, the memory to fail and delay, the movements to completely slow down, the ears to struggle to pick up sound, and the eyes to squint to have to see. After all, everything tall will someday fall.

The couple are made of sand, by the unseen hand, all part of our Creators Divine plan.

The couple will have to live their life which will be surrounded by strife. The world is a place of pressure while the hereafter is full of grace and pleasure.

However, marriage is a special treasure which offers leisure in measure.

By keeping the hereafter in mind, the couple will find it easy to bind. It is so rewarding to be kind when put to the grind, allowing problems to quickly unwind.

Youth comes once and old age too. Many reach youth but old age a few. Thus old age is rare, which a selected few wear. An old couple is no trouble. Together they will care and remain fair. No frightening stare! No threatening dare! As an aged pair, they will repair, and for the hereafter prepare.

Every worldly journey ends, despite the many bends. Marriage certainly tends to have its sends and lends, mends and defends.

Death, however, is the final separator, controlled by one Creator, taking every couple sooner or later...

 

May Allah allow each spouse to be the coolness of each others' eyes and for us to appreciate each other before we leave this Dunya, Aameen