Safeguarding the Secret

Imagine a woman who possesses an exquisite piece of jewellery. She values it, cherishes it and guards it, always fearful for its safety.

One day, in a moment of negligence, she confided in a person whom she had wrongfully regarded as a friend, informing her of the jewellery, its location and even its worth! Shortly thereafter, the home was burgled and her precious jewellery was stolen. In the aftermath of this tragedy, she wrung her hands in regret, lamenting to herself, “Why did I reveal the secret?”

Similarly, all women associate and interact with other women. As Allah Ta‘ala has created all people uniquely and blessed them differently, one woman may have some feature that is exceptionally attractive, while another may be attractive and blessed with beauty in a different aspect, and a third woman may be blessed with beauty in all aspects!

One of the greatest treasures that a woman can possess is the attention of her husband, where he finds her attractive and is satisfied with her. Having said that, one of the quickest ways to lose this treasure is to ‘reveal the secret’ by speaking of other women to one’s husband, describing their features, habits, manner of speaking, clothing, figure, walking or anything else related to them for that matter. 

If one wishes to enjoy the undivided attention of her husband, then why does she discuss and describe other women to him, intentionally drawing his attention away from herself and towards these women and their beauty?

Thereafter, when he begins thinking about these women, or even worse – fantasizing over the picture that his wife painted on the canvas of his imagination, she will naturally become upset and feel betrayed. While he is answerable for his actions and will be taken to task for it, however she fails to realize that she has nobody to blame but herself for her own misery, as she personally ‘introduced’ these women to her husband by speaking about them and describing them to him.

Hence, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) himself taught us that a woman should not interact with another woman, thereafter describing her to her husband in such a vivid manner that it is as if he can actually see that woman. (Saheeh Bukhaari #5240)

This beautiful teaching of Islam not only safeguards the husband from sin, but also serves as a means of protection for the marriage by allowing the husband to remain satisfied and content with his wife. 

May Allah (swt) save us from calamaties which we in our control, Aameen

A Letter from Rohingya

MYANMAR - A Letter from Rohingya

 

 

 

More than 270,000 Rohingyans, a large percentage of them women and children, have fled Myanmar in the last two weeks. [Mohammad Ponir Hossain/Reuters]
 

A resident of Myanmar's Rakhine State discusses daily life and the abuses and attacks Rohingyans endure.

 

 

 

“For all my life, all 24 years of it, I've been a prisoner in this open air jail you know as Rakhine State. I was born in Myanmar, as were my parents, but my citizenship was snatched away before I was even conceived. We're facing extinction, and unless the international community stands with us, one of the most persecuted people in the world, we will face genocide and you, you will all be a party to it.

 

My movement, education, access to healthcare and career have been heavily restricted because of my ethnicity. I'm banned from working in the government, denied the right to pursue higher education, barred from visiting the capital, Yangon, and even stopped from leaving northern Rakhine State. I'm subjected to the worst form of discrimination, all because I'm a Rohingyan Muslim.

 

 

For years, my people, who have been denied their most basic rights, are killed on a near daily basis. Shot dead in plain sight, forcibly and systematically made homeless, our homes razed in front of our very eyes; we're the victims of a brutal state.

 

 

For you to fully appreciate what our conditions are like, I'm going to use an analogy: imagine a mouse stuck in a cage with a hungry cat. That's what it's like for the Rohingyans. Our only method of survival is to run, or hope someone helps us get out.

 

 

For those of us that have remained, there's a systematic campaign to separate us from the wider Rakhine community. We're called "Kalar" [a slur often used against Muslims] by Buddhists to our faces. Whether you're a child or an old man, no one escapes the abuse. We face discrimination at schools and at hospitals, and there's been a boycott campaign by Buddhists to avoid us at all costs.

 

 

"Only buy from Buddhists," they say. "If you give a penny to a Buddhist, they'll help build a Pagoda (temple), but if you give a penny to a Muslim, they'll build a mosque." These kinds of comments, they've become the norm and helped encourage Buddhist extremists to attack us.

 

 

When Aung San Suu Kyi, a Noble Peace Prize winner, won parliamentary elections in 2015 and ended half a century of dominance by the military, we had high hopes change was coming. We were confident that this woman, hailed as a beacon of democracy, would end our abuse and oppression. Sadly, it soon became clear that not only would she not be our voice, she would ignore our suffering. Her silence showed she was complicit in the violence.

 

 

In the end, she failed us; our last hope, failed us.

 

 

In 2012, a huge number of the Rohingya were slaughtered in one of the worst bouts of communal violence. Around 140,000 were internally displaced, an event that would repeat itself in 2016. Shot, slaughtered, and burned alive in front of their families, the violence last October would give rise to the Arakan Rohingya Salvation Army (ARSA), a small group of men who decided to defend themselves and fight back. Armed with just sticks and stones, they knew they couldn't fend off the well-equipped Myanmar army but they tried nonetheless.

 

 

Still, now our sisters and mothers are forced to give birth in paddy fields as we run for our lives in this violence that you say is between two equal sides. It is not. Children being shot at as they flee and women's bodies floating in rivers is not an equal fight.

 

 

We're facing extinction, and unless the international community stands with us, one of the most persecuted people in the world, we will face genocide and you, you will all be a witness to it.

 

 

The author of this letter has requested anonymity due to fear of attacks from the government.

 

He spoke to Al Jazeera's Faisal Edroos. 

 

The plight of the Rohingyan Muslims has reached critical levels. Our URGENT appeal is to assist in providing aid to the refugees fleeing persecution. Kindly assist our Rohingyan brethren in their desperate hour of need. Jazakallah Khayr! 

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Am I Losing Focus..?

Am I Losing Focus..?

The newly wed can't spend time away from each other...I remember the days I couldn't sleep if he wasn't home, I couldn't eat if he hadn't eaten...Even in a family gathering my heart wouldn't rest if i couldn't catch a glimpse of him...My husband was the centre of my world...

My happiness, my better half and then it all changed...Well, in a good way.

After a few years we were blessed with a beautiful baby. We were ecstatic! Our home was now warmer filled with giggles, lots more love and light...Oh, not forgetting late nights, diapers, sleepless nights, feeding through the night, needing a bath at 1am because you got spewed all over... and just as you were about to finally place your head down the sound of poop vibrated the cot next to you...

Yup motherhood is awesome but comes with the extra jihaad of self-subservience that comes so naturally Subhan'Allah... The initial days were tough. My world centred around my baby. Did I feed her? Is she ok? Does she need a change? Am I good enough? I have to do more... and then just as the days began to ease up, we were blessed with the shocking news of another baby... I was pregnant. ..AGAIN!

In so many ways do destiny took its cause and we were blessed with a baby girl... Shukr to Allah!

2 babies crying at night... 2 diapers to change... 2 small mouths to feed, 2 babies to care for to worry about... and yet I myself - am coming to terms with my bloated body... not bathing till 11pm... not cooking... not giving myself time...

I got many visitors who came to see mainly who the babies look like... then came along a good friend one day who spoke words hard to hear yet deep and so important. She too had babies although not as close as mines... yet she had her hands full non the less. She told me she did't realize it but through the months and years that passed she had invested her love and dedication to her girls... and as she was seated beside her husband and got up to tend to yet another chore, her husband sorrowfully mourned..."I don't matter anymore..."

 

At first I was annoyed with her advice and continued my way of a dedicated mum...but I didn't realize I had imprisoned myself between between my babies and just needing desperate sleep...I had indeed neglected my husband (not intentionally thought yet somehow I had)... My better half, My companion.

He was isolated coming home to a tired wife and leaving home from a tired wife... I didn't realize my neglect of him eventually made him neglectful to me too...

This is my message is for every mum out there... Allah (swt) gifts us our children however we should never forget the one who has more rights over us...Our Husband

• Its tough in the start but how will he ever know if you dont sit with him and speak?
• How will your husband be able to understand you without subtle  communication? 

When we complain about being tired, it tends to annoy them... Men tend to be sensitive to the complaining voice...

We lose ourselves in our duties but Allah (swt) has instructed our duties towards the husband... Not as an obligation nor a chore... but to maintain that muwadda and to protect that rahmah that Allah (swt) has blessed us.

Don't neglect your husband... even if its just a final cup of tea at the end of the day... or a light innocent conversation for at least half an hour each evening...

A walk in the garden holding hands or just sitting beside him thankfully and lovingly... To make him happy and to please our Creator.

Men can be our biggest babies and they will always need respect, time, love and attention. 

One day, the children will be grown up and we may be left alone with our faithful friend, Aameen...

 

We may get caught up in our work but they are still the same husband who still needs you... and you need him too. So build the relationship. Remember that happiness and joy comes only from our Creator❤

 

May Allah make us mindful of our Husbands - Aameen