Monday, August 04, 2008

Single Women, Never Lose Hope

Regardless of any professional or academic achievement, young women from different cultural and social backgrounds worldwide share one almost indispensable dream: that of having families of their own through marriage.

Are you a manager in a multinational company or a famous figure in your society who still craves for the feeling of being a wife and a mother? As time goes by, several single women start to lose hope that they might some day get married.

Dreary Feelings

Plenty of questions arouse in the minds of many single women: Why am I not married yet? Will I stay single for the rest of my life? These questions can sometimes be accompanied with feelings of sadness and depression. Further, some single women can experience a feeling of low self-esteem.

Birthdays can sometimes add fuel to the fire as they serve to remind some single women that they are growing older without marriage, which turns this supposedly happy day to a sad one.

Attending a wedding or an engagement party can even make things worse when a
single woman starts to read words of pity in the eyes of some of those who know she is single. In fact, those people do not understand that these looks of sympathy can seriously aggravate the feelings of grieve in a single woman's soul.

Test of Faith

But, have you ever thought of the reason why you are single? Actually, it can be a test from Almighty Allah
(swt) for your patience. Will you be grateful to Him? Will you be capable of enduring hardships? Such a test serves to measure the strength of your faith. It might also be the wisdom of Almighty Allah (swt) that you are currently single because you have been "chosen" by Him for a specific role that does not suit the responsibilities of a wife and a mother.

You have to remember that life is a series of ups and downs; it is simply a sunset followed by a sunrise. If we do not experience the darkness, we will not be able to enjoy the beauty of the sunlight. Similarly, if we do not experience hardships, we will not be able to realize the blessings that Almighty Allah (swt) has bestowed upon us.

When you feel gloomy to the extent that you might sometimes burst into tears, be sure that Almighty Allah (swt) knows your pain. Be sure that your rank as a believer increases before Him when you say Alhamdulillah along with a feeling of utmost satisfaction.
Remember also that passing through this test means that Almighty Allah (swt) loves you. Be patient and always remember that every single feeling of pain
increases your reward in the Hereafter.

The point that should always be remembered is that every one has his or her share of misfortunes. Those who are mistakenly thought to be leading a perfect life have their own problems, even if they are smart enough to show the converse. Almighty Allah (swt) says
in the Qura'an:
[And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and lives and crops, but give glad tidings to the patient.] (Al-Baqarah 2:155)

Patience and Hope

Do not lose hope of getting married; Almighty Allah(swt)
will not leave you with your sadness and depression. Marriage is one of the gifts that Almighty Allah (swt) bestow upon us according to His will.

What you can do is trying to build the strongest spiritual bonds with the Creator Who has the keys of the heavens and earth through supplication and recitation of His book. Having an ultimate faith of every single word you read can make a great difference.

In addition, try to fill your life with different activities, such as practicing your favorite sport and attending Qura'an sessions. Practicing hobbies and other activities can help eliminate any negative thoughts.

Another helpful aspect is participating in charity work. Lending a helping hand to others - especially the needy, the handicapped, the orphans, and the elderly - greatly helps to recognize Almighty Allah
(swt)'s blessings and to comprehend the true meaning of the word Alhamdulillah.

No one has a crystal ball to predict the future. So you should believe that everything will take place in its appropriate timing (Taqdeer)
for the Almighty Allah (swt) surely knows best.
Now, are you still miserable and disheartened? I surely hope not!


Mohamed Karolia said...

I know this post is directed at females and i agree that females have a tougher time when they are single and time starts catching up. I think you are spot on that life is a series of up and downs and that you have to have faith in the Almighty as life is one big Test.

I think in todays society there is a huge emphasis on finding a significant other and getting married and this leads to people looking at you differently and as you say giving you that sympathic look if you are not settled. Weddings , engagements etc all lead to aggravation but the test is how you deal with it that defines you.

Allah has placed on this earth for each of us a spouse of counterpoint We just have to be patient.

Lovely post :)

Princess said...

Mohamed, firstly Jazakallah for visiting! People tend to be narrow minded and judge your worth by whether you married or not...

As you say Allah has placed on this earth for each of us a spouse of counterpoint We just have to be patient.

Sabr is the key to many things and Allah knows when the time is right - for when we Trust in Him miracles do happen.