Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A Wife's Classical Mistake

A Wife's Classical Mistake

It is not as easy as it seems to go from being an independent single woman to a wife. Many women can't wait for the day when they'll be wearing that long white dress and be seen as the most beautiful bride that ever existed. But marriage is much more than just a dress and having someone to go home to.

Marriage is a bond - a bond that cannot be broken. A bond that will last until the day you die. But I have seen many young couples struggle so much to get this bond working in their lives. It is as if all their dreams of a happy marriage were still dreams to come true in their lives.

There are 8 typical mistakes wives ought to know and avoid:

1. The Critical Caieera. Many wives like to criticise their husbands for being too this or that, for not being like that other husband and so forth. As much as they're doing this only to help out, that is not how their husbands, (who tend to feel inferior by the words of the woman that knows him best), see it. The opposite works much better - if you praise him once in a while, his ego will start letting him do things he thought he could never do and that is how a woman builds her man up!

2. The Lazy Laila. This kind of wife does not like her duties in the house. She hates feeling like a domestic worker for her husband who in turn doesn't help out anywhere and on anything in the house. A good housewife will not demand from her husband to do what she is supposed to do. Imagine if he were to demand for her to go and make money to support him and the family? It is true that many wives work as well as their husbands, but it is still their responsibility to make sure that their house is clean, the food is on the table, the clothes are clean, and their intimate life is still active at the end of the day. Some husbands end up leaving their wives because other women can give them what their wives are too lazy to give.

3. The Sentimental Sarah. Every husband needs a strong wife. Someone who is ready for anything, someone who will go through hard times and still be the same one as when they were in good times. Women who are too sentimental can often make their husbands feel frustrated and alone. These women will cry for anything. If they are ever rebuked, expect the overflow of the Thames River! The husband will often deal with this kind of wife as if dealing with a crystal glass, which will end up being a burden to carry along for the rest of his life.

4. The Moody Maseehah. This woman is like the waves of the sea. One minute she is up, the other she is down. One minute she is going to the right, the other she is going to the left. It is hard to live with such a person because you never know when she will be okay. Her difficult mood scares her husband off. When in the middle of the day, he is thinking about her, instead of thinking about how nice it would be if she were there with him, he'll be thinking what can he arrange after work so he won't have return home so early

5. The Jealous Juwaireeha is jealous of everybody that comes near her husband, even his own parents. When a woman shows her jealousy when it comes to her man, she immediately shows her insecurity about herself and that is a weak spot no man likes to see. As mentioned before, husbands like to have strong wives, women who are secure enough to go through anything and still stand at the end of the day. The wife should by all means take care of her man but not to the point of having the sinful feeling of jealousy.

6. The Angry Aamina is a constantly irritated woman. Anything that is said, or done can easily push her buttons. An angry woman makes everyone around her feel uncomfortable. As the Bible says: "Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman." She is avoided by many and still thinks people are not understanding. Little does she know that this is not any one's problem but hers, and hers alone.

7. The Independent Illhaam thinks she does not need her husband's existence except for social situations where it will look better on her to be beside a man. Her life is usually a mystery for her husband who constantly wonders why he got into this trap and became a white

elephant in her life. Marriage is about unity. Unity of minds, of desires, of ideas, of everything you can think of. When one of the spouses does not understand the fact that they have now become one body, it is of no use to pray or fight for a blessing in the marriage.

8. The Busy Basheerah is that wife that is always too busy with everything that is not related to her husband. Some wives get so busy with their work and with their children that they end up putting their marriage on hold. How can one be too busy for the most important part of her life? How can your children be happy and fulfilled if their parents have broken up? How can your work succeed and prosper you and make you rich, but alone? How can your charitable work towards others mean anything if the ones closest to you are the most needy?

** Many wives suffer because of their own mistakes and if only they changed their behaviour and attitudes, they would see so much fruit out of their marriage! Prayer alone will help a great deal too. We have to act wisely but that does not mean that only women behave this way some men do this too. **

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